Monday, May 21, 2007

Jamba Juice Mix


-What is the deal with restaurants chains pricing items with pig products way cheaper with items that do not include them? For example, a turkey bacon sub sells for 3.99 but the turkey along sub sells for 4.99. I mean it does not make sense, the one with bacon is cheaper, should be a great deal, but I do not eat bacon for religious purposes (and bacon stinks). It makes me always order a turkey bacon sub and telling the "Sandwich artist" not to include the bacon. I further mention "If you want to throw some extra turkey, I won't hold it against you" so my whole covet operation saves me a buck, that is 7$ a week. I offer the sandwich artist to keep the bacon and eat it on his/her own or even give it to their dog.

-I love it when I cut myself and bleed, not because I like to see blood or like to torture myself, it is much more simple really. By losing blood, I have to eat more food to compensate for all the lost blood. So there you have it, one more reason to get some food in without feeling guilty.

-Sing Language is on of the most racist languages out there....to say a Jew one points to the chin area and moves hand around it to indicate a beard...and much more...I wonder how do they say an Arab? Show a built and then gesture hands in the air to indicate an explosion? Or how do you show an African American (I do not want to go there) or how to show an Asian, best would be to show with hands that you are driving like crazy! Just a thought.

-An electrician came to my house with the company called "Accent Electricians" he came to fix some problem the landlady wanted him to take care of. But by the time he was done the house was smelling like a fire and looks like the electrician has screwed up. Now my landlady should have known better not to hire someone from the "Accent electricians" the name alone accent means different, unconventional what is wrong with the conventional electricians? accent also means someone is foreign, when it comes to my electricity I want someone who can understand clearly and surely what the problem is.

-Last weekend I spent it with a group of Jewish students in West Virginia, we had the entire weekend to talk, this might be hard for me as a Palestinian, but talking to the Jewish students was the easy part, to get them to agree on what kind of blessing the food should have was the big issue. It took them about 20 minutes to figure out the right and proper format to bless the food, the bread and their wine. By the time they were done I was ready to collapse.

-One of the Israeli girls whom I attended a workshop with was bragging about how many men she has slept with and she was naming them and ranking their performance. The Americans, The Latinos, The Persians...the list goes one. So I told her that she represent a mini Israel, he life is a metaphor for the state of Israel.In a a way she screwed the United Nation and went on to talk about it.

-When I fly with American airlines, I am sure to do profiling and they check my background which is fine. So the least thing I expect them to know is my faith, they are aware that I am a Muslim, but to screw with them, I order a Kosher meal. So these guys would be like why would a Muslim order a Kosher meal? is he not very religious? Do you know how much emotional distress this put on them? They would spend hours talking about this issue? Could it be that he wants his last meal to be Jewish before he goes up or down? Or could it be for distraction purposes? Honestly, I do not think these guys need to worry much because airlines do not give you food these days. But why would they ask about my dietary need, if it was irrelevant or if they were not going to use it in the first place?

-I think people need to encourage their faiths to compete and introduce better services, honestly no one wants to go to Church for five, four or three hours like some Churches do...I think one hour should be the standard, if the Church is willing to cut the hour short that's fine, but nothing more than an hour. I think this makes marketing a religion much more attractive and a whole lot easier. Hey, the Catholic said one hour, what does your religion say? "Ohh, hours have drive through church services" See, if religions compete you win.

-Jamba Juice and my Jamba juice, it is not what you think, Smoothie King is great, but I like my JJ. That would be Jamba Jews

-Here is an advice, if you have an Israeli roommate who is prone to eating your food from the fridge, go a head any buy some Palestinian flag and put them on your food, by this the Israeli will think this is poison or anti-Israeli food so they will not eat it. Side affects, your food might be tossed in the trash, but it will never be eaten by your Israeli roommate.

-My friend Rouhi has a GPS system in his car, it is funny and strange because he is not used to a woman telling him what to do, the lady voice in the GPA is for a woman names Jill. He kept ignoring her advice because according to him Jill does not avoid dirt roads, he kept on ignoring her for some time and doing his own thing. A minute later Jill screamed and said "It looks like English is a problem, let's try another language" "German, Danish...etc." by now Rouhi was cussing at the GPS company and then Jill started talking back. Whatever Rouhi said, Jill would say back "Damn you Jill" she would say "Damn YOU"....etc. I blame Rouhi for buying this device because it was the most advanced technology in the market. The thing with Jill is the fact that it is racist, you may ask why. Here is why Jill did not have any Asian languages , perhaps the Asian are bad drivers, but that does not mean we give up on them, they probably need direction like no other.

-I walked into a subway restaurant in our way to West Virginia and the poster there said, free membership at Gold's Gym. I was like great, wow, but then I thought about it, it is not the ones who eat at subway that concern us and need to go the gym, it is the ones who eat cross the street at that greasy place who could use that best. Frankly, I am not concerned for the health of those who eat at Subways.

-On the road to our destination, I saw a huge solar station for Beyond Petroleum or (BP) and this name itself actually concerns me. What if other companies started doing the same thing by naming their company names that could affect their products negatively. Nike called itself beyond shoes...what barefoot? Microsoft, beyond Windows? a Mac? Universities call themselves beyond education...more education? a radio station starts using the tag line, Beyond radio...say TV?

Peace

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