Dance Videos and Post

I have uploaded two new videos on my personal channel, you can see my brother rocking the house and also you get to see 3 second of me caught in a grand sausage fest...

http://www.youtube.com/user/alkabeer101

hope you like the videos

Also I have a new post up on the huffington post about how the Siege is helping Hamas, or how Hamas is making use of the best card dealt. Please read @ Here

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Shatha Hassoun -- Wa3d 3rqub Mr. Palmer

وعد عرقوب ـ شذى حسون

This song has Arabic subtitle it might make it easier...I know the director and the star wanted everyone one to read into their song...I think it has some to do with the American promises in Iraq and that can be read from the lover being in the like of an American troop. She represents Iraq who wants to leave the guy and walk away from it all (think Iraq taking charge of its own affairs) There is a line where she says, I went all over the town to find someone who loves you and I finally found one...that's my take. The title of the song comes from an old saying "Unfulfilled promise" hope that helps. On anothe rnote I love the song and the nstroy line, a hint of Indian music fusion with Gulf style helps.

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15 Arab Mind Readers Know All

By Hanitizer

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When you like to travel to random places in America, taking the Greyhound, the Chinatown bus, or the Amtrak, you get to meet a lot of characters that you wouldn’t meet otherwise. Also when you taught Arabic in the States for few years, and went to a school in the middle of nowhere, you definitely have a chance to be the first Arab, people meet. Here are few reactions and thoughts I have came to draw from watching people’s faces as I drop “I am Arab” or “Arabic is my native language” bomb. Those are by no mean exclusive, as always feel free to add yours in the comment section.

1. I suppose I could pick up few buzzwords that will make me sound intellectual on my next date. Wait until I tell my friends about this!

2. My parents will be so proud, I know people we see on TV a lot. Come to think of it, this Ahmad guy looks dangerously familiar– did I see him on an Al-Qaeda video?

3. C’mon now, just tell me where the best kabob and falafel joints are in the city.

4. His name is really hard to pronounce, but that doesn’t matter, I am calling ICE first thing in the morning. I hope this encounter won’t reflect badly on my security clearance… Let’s hope he/she does not ask me what I do for a living.

5. Bro, this dude is overdressed and totally smells like lahma. Somebody please call PETA.

6. Wow, his English is pretty good–not like the guys from “True Lies.”

7. Arabs like chips and salsa? Well, I’d better get some before it’s too late. At last, someone who won’t steal my pepperoni pizza.

8. And they tell me, I have a five o’clock shadow. Ahmad will be a strong contender if Gillette ever needed replacement for Tiger.

9. I presume an infidel like myself got zero chance with a hot Arab chick like yourself. Should I offer her a drink? I don’t wanna insult the lady.

10. I wonder if he is Sunni or Shiite. Hey, I am just curious. I bet he thinks I’m a whore because my hair is showing.

11. I was not aware I invited the Al-Jazeera English cast to my party. Did she say she is doing a PhD, and she is only 22? F my life.

12. You know, coming in I did not see camel parking…maybe she used a magic rug, I bet her rug is nice.

13. Is that a detonator hanging from his pants or is that just his zipper? Note to self: stop staring at people’s penises.

14. G-d I hope he doesn’t find out I’m Jewish.

15. No wonder we couldn’t get a cab, there are all here for the party! “Honey, we got a ride, this Mahmooud fella has a cab, he will drive us home.”

P.S. What are those green seeds in his teeth?

[Tarboush Tip: Lyndsay, Kellee, Clay, Programmer Buydatti, Will, Fox News]

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Have you met a Jewish Person who likes German Chocolate Cake? I have yet to

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Yes, please send me that Coupon!

When you are in the bridal business, I imagine you are a bit smart and a bit sensitive...when you make a purchase at those stores for a wedding, you would expect to be your last purchase at that store. There is no "loyal customer" or "repeat business", loyal customer to the bridal stores is disloyal partner. Why would you want to send my coupons along with my order for a discount for my future purchases? Is that a bad sing or what? I mean with about 50% divorce rate, you might end up using that coupon, but by the time you might want to use it...it might have expired already. Capitalism fails yet again....but do not want it any other way...

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Awesome Arabic Music Kick Off 2010

By Hanitizer

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2010 is shaping up to be a great year for Arabic music, we are still on the third week of the first month and I must say I am overwhelmed by the quantity of Arabic songs and music videos that has been released so far. But the quantity does not take away form the quality, I share with you some news and links of latest hits.

Diana Karzon, the Jordanian singer is back and her fans are all about it. Since the start of the new year, Diana launched two music videos leading up to her new album. Inta Algaram/ انت الغرام and Fe Had ashtakalk / في حد اشتكالك . So far I say Diana will have a great year.

Rashid Almajid, the Gulf music hit maker, had a good album last year and it seems this year he is going to make it again. انا من حقي اغير / ana min Haqi Ageer is perhaps his happiest song of the year. منك منقهر/ Minak Minqahir is one true sad song, only a Gulf dialect can make a song this sad and this honest. Another gem by Rashid Almajid and the Lebanese young diva Yara is worth giving it a listen. The title is the lost date…or those missed opportunities. The music video is really well-made and had a rather large budget. Somehow there is a link to the US landing on the moon. راشد الماجد و يارا – الموعد الضائع

Hekmat, can a Moroccan singer make the best Arabic song? I think this might just have happend with this mature voice that sings to the best in us - Hawel / حاول If you are an Arabic woman and you are single, this might as well be your song.

Haifa Wahby, the Lebanese (fill in the blank) releases a song about how much she loves Egypt. The title is 80 million Ehasas/ 80 مليون احساس

Shada Hassoun, the Iraqi singer comes up with the most controversial Arabic music video, it involves Iraq and her love for an American solider. I think the song is great and a smart one in the age of silliness. Her is her wonderful song. – Wa’d Arqoub / شدى حسون – وعد عرقوب Many Arabs said they were offended by the music video, but I think they are missing the director’s point.

Brigit Yaghi, the under rated Lebanese entertainer releases a song with a hint of Hollywood, I enjoyed it – Alby W Omry /قلبي و عمري

Joe Ashkar, the Lebanese male equivalent of Haifa Wahby makes a soft porno and lives to tell about it. The best part he won an international MTV award – Dakhel El Ghannouj / جو أشقر – داخل الغنوج Not Bad for a married man.

Wael Gassar, the Lebanese singer introduces a real life story in his music video. He talkes about his brother and growing up together, only end up going different ways, a foreign concept for many of us Arabs – Ghareibah El Nas / وائل جسار – غريبة الناس Fans of Wael Gasser will cheer for his modest success and his brilliant hits.

Diab, I do not know who he is, but he has one funky song that seems to be an Egyptian style. It uses pretty much all the slang Egyptian men say around women–hot women. – Ghammazat / دياب – غمازات

Iwan, the Lebanese one hit singer is out to change that. He is back and he is looking rather good. His song is pretty good and the music video is refreshing. His loved one leaves him for fame, he deals with it. – Akbar Kazabah / إيوان – أكبر كذابة Iwan, I look forward to hear more.

Omneya Soliman, the new comer and quite frankly the next Egyptian big star. Omneya means a wish, and that’s what she is. A wish for Arabic music listeners for better art for starts who have voices that can take us to that special place. The end of the music video Omneya covers an old Oum Kalthom songs to tell us she has it and I agree – Mesh Howa / أمنية سليمان – مش هو

Nancy Ajram, how can you not love Nancy? she is Mommy now and still rocking the Middle East. Since the start of this year, she has switched production companies, making the only major Arab singer (next to tamer Hosny) who still do not deal with Rotana production company. Her first song of this year was about loving Egypt, forgettable song. But her single that remind us of the energized 2003 Nancy…Salimouli 3aleeh

Elissa, the Lebanese queen and the best selling Arabic singer is back with her latest album, fans love it and love Elissa’s new look. I liked it, it shows some new side of a grown Elissa where she tackles issues of a woman’s dignity and domestic violence without being preachy or bitter. It’s mostly a sad album, some songs are very dark. While fans love the lyrics and the energy of Elissa (a great cover too) some had a concern where the music seems to sounds all the same. Here is the promo for the album

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Solar Powered Cockroach (Black)

Gee, if they needed cockroaches they could come to any city and find them, no need for the sun to waste its energy. What is the purpose of this invention again?

The world I live in does not need any more of these items, less is more.


O

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The Gaza Travel Video

This video will make you appreciate your home country, see the pain and trouble people have to go through to be able to move from point A to point B

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You Can Laugh

This poster was spotd at the local At& t store on DuPont Circle, DC the word dasher in Arabic gives me the giggles....want to guess what it means? Roa laughed when I pointed it to her attention! any guesses?

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Ray Hanania Adopts Jackasses

By Hanitizer

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Ray Hanania, a Palestinian-American comedian whose funny bone has yet to be verified, recently unveiled plans to adopt a number of jackasses housed in zoos across the nation. His goal is to unite them and form a lobby that is able to adequately represent their rights in the United States. His efforts are being supported by the World Wildlife Fund (WWF).

Hanania, the WWF-appointed spokesperson and mascot of the movement, stated: “Jackasses, like me, are a dying breed. All my life I’ve worked hard to become a world-class jackass, and now – after I’ve made it – we’re almost extinct. Worst of all, no one seems to care. Not even Al Gore is paying attention!”

He continued, “I won’t rest until I revive the species. I’m as passionate about being a jackass as Angelina Jolie is about adopting third-world babies!”

Carter Roberts, president of the WWF, explained his organization’s support of Hanania’s initiative: “We first approached Governor Rod Blagojevich since he’s a nationally recognized jackass. He declined, but referred us to Mr. Hanania, another Chicago native. After running a thorough background search on him, we decided Ray’s the best guy for the job.”

Still, not everyone is happy about Hanania’s appointment.

Injured Chicago Bears player Israel Idonije argued that Hanania’s allegiance should be to his ailing team – not jackasses. “This is a ludicrous idea from a very unfunny man,” said Idonije. “As a resident of Chicago, Ray should be more focused on helping the Bears improve our horrible team performance – not jackasses!”

Hanania, however, dismissed the criticism. “Look, I would love to help,” he said. “But I’d rather stick to things I know a lot about.”

[Tarboush Tip: Programmer Buydatti]

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Twelve Irritating Food Scenarios

By Hanitizer

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For a blog that has the world Kabob on it, we do not get to talk about food much, and since I like food and I like to talk about it, I took the liberty of writing a list of things and practices I find irksome to me. I hope you can relate to some of these scenarios are universal. But a quick word of advice, if you have a certain diet, do not invite me over for a potluck, please I would rather give you cash instead.
to read the entire list please go to Divine Caroline.

A hottie near my food: Hotties of the universe if there is a reception, a wedding, or any occasion where food trays are laid out for me to grab, stay away from standing near the food. I cannot load my dish if you are standing next to the food line. I am self-conscious, so help me and other males by give us a chance to pig out away from your sight. I can do one thing or the other, admire your beauty, or admire the work of the chefs. No, I am not going to do what married guys do, which is just ignore you.

Nuts: To my follow host, easy on the nuts! Do not sprinkle them everywhere; you know some of us have allergies to nuts. So keep your pine nuts and almonds away from my plate. I know nuts are expensive, so this is my gift to you in these financial tough times. Is it written somewhere in the food guide, that you cannot have rice without topping it with some sort of nuts? Keep your nuts stored in the dark.

Bacon This: American diners love to hook me up with a bit of extra bacon … it is ok to racially profile me to prevent me from eating bacon. I know bacon eaters love it and swear by it, but this is a free country. I try to always ask about their bacon policy, but most of the time the serves does not know. Get this, most Clam Chowder soups are started with bacon. I did know that pigs occasionally fly, but swim in the sea is a first.

The Stingy Couple Who Refuses to Tip: that’s their choice, but when their choice makes me a partner in crime, I refuse to take part in that. It’s always a couple that has some philosophical reasons not to tip the poor waiter, and instead just pay for their share; they of course neglect the tax too. So I usually do not go out with these people again; maybe I am helping them save extra money to put in their 401 K.

To read the entire list click here

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To See Vidoes From Gaza

Freinds,

I just started a new youtube channel for the videos I just got back from Gaza, (I took 4 months of videos for random things in Gaza)

I hope you would tune in.

Subscribe to this Channel, click here

please make sure to click the subscribe button

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Twelve Irritating Food Scenarios

By Hanitizer

Share

For a blog that has the world Kabob on it, we do not get to talk about food much, and since I like food and I like to talk about it, I took the liberty of writing a list of things and practices I find irksome to me. I hope you can relate to some of these scenarios are universal. But a quick word of advice, if you have a certain diet, do not invite me over for a potluck, please I would rather give you cash instead.
to read the entire list please go to Divine Caroline.

A hottie near my food: Hotties of the universe if there is a reception, a wedding, or any occasion where food trays are laid out for me to grab, stay away from standing near the food. I cannot load my dish if you are standing next to the food line. I am self-conscious, so help me and other males by give us a chance to pig out away from your sight. I can do one thing or the other, admire your beauty, or admire the work of the chefs. No, I am not going to do what married guys do, which is just ignore you.

Nuts: To my follow host, easy on the nuts! Do not sprinkle them everywhere; you know some of us have allergies to nuts. So keep your pine nuts and almonds away from my plate. I know nuts are expensive, so this is my gift to you in these financial tough times. Is it written somewhere in the food guide, that you cannot have rice without topping it with some sort of nuts? Keep your nuts stored in the dark.

Bacon This: American diners love to hook me up with a bit of extra bacon … it is ok to racially profile me to prevent me from eating bacon. I know bacon eaters love it and swear by it, but this is a free country. I try to always ask about their bacon policy, but most of the time the serves does not know. Get this, most Clam Chowder soups are started with bacon. I did know that pigs occasionally fly, but swim in the sea is a first.

The Stingy Couple Who Refuses to Tip: that’s their choice, but when their choice makes me a partner in crime, I refuse to take part in that. It’s always a couple that has some philosophical reasons not to tip the poor waiter, and instead just pay for their share; they of course neglect the tax too. So I usually do not go out with these people again; maybe I am helping them save extra money to put in their 401 K.

To read the entire list click here

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Ray Hanania Needs Circumcision to Stay Afloat

By Hanitizer

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The presidential candidacy of a Palestinian-American, Ray Hanania, has been ruled unconstitutional by the Palestinian Authority. Last month, the Chicago native and self-proclaimed “peace activist” announced his intention to run for President of Palestine by uploading a schnozz-shot video to YouTube and creating a Facebook group.

While Ray enjoys popular support in Zionists circles, he remains relatively unknown to many Palestinians. (In his defense, he is becoming somewhat of a YouTube sensation among stoners and Cheetos fans who’ve dubbed him “Palestinian Internet President Dude.”)

Noting Hanania’s relative obscurity, Ahmad Azahar – a Ramallah native who runs a Kool-Aid manufacturing plant – commented: “Who is he kidding? The net is slow in Palestine so Ray’s revolution will never be downloaded!”

The Palestinian Central Election Commission, the government body that oversees Palestinian elections, disqualified Hanania’s candidacy after he failed to pass a detailed health examination. Such examinations are standard practice in the Occupied Territory. To Hanania’s dismay, he was rejected on count of his uncircumcised penis. “Palestinian law states that all candidates seeking the high office must be circumcised,” stated an official who wished to remain unnamed. “The election commission requires these medical exams to ensure that all candidates have the testicular fortitude to stand up to the Israelis. In Ray’s case, we never had to go beyond the obvious.”

When asked if Ray could get a speedy circumcision to qualify for a campaign run, the official responded: “Candidates and electoral lists participating in the elections are forbidden from using campaign funds raised from external donors and foreign sources to finance such things. Given how cheap and pathetic his YouTube videos are, we highly doubt that he will be able to afford the medical expenses on his own.”

Election officials offered numerous other reasons for his rejection:
“Ray has a show called ‘Mornings with Ray’ that no one in his home country can even stomach,” grumbled a junior-level administrator. “How do you expect us Palestinians to take five years of that?”

There’s also the issue of Ray being an ardent supporter of the Chicago Cubs – who, as most baseball fans know, have been cursed since 1945. “C’mon! We got the curse of ‘48.” complained another administrator, “we don’t need to import another one!”

Ayman Talib, a professor of ethics at Najah University, opposes Ray’s candidacy for a different reason: “He is the master of political cross dressing. If all of Palestine’s assholes unite and vote for Ray, he may very well be our next president.”

Fortunately for Palestine, a recent poll conducted by the Tubas Sun-Times ranked Hanania a distant 9th in his candidacy for president – barely defeating a one-legged Palestinian Debkah instructor only known to locals as “Makhmoosh.”

Both members of Hanania’s campaign staff have thus far refused to comment on the Palestinian Central Election Commission’s decision to disqualify his bid for presidency. However, they did release a statement boasting his strong points: “The fact of the matter is that Palestine needs a tough guy to run things in Palestine – and Ray is just the guy to do it. When he does a pushup, he isn’t lifting his body off the ground, he’s pushing Palestine down.”

More as this story develops.

[Tarboush Tip: Programmer Buydatti]

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Get Your Tickets!

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My Lady Friend

A proved!

She got her US visa in less than 48 hours....

She called me at 5 Am to let me know she got her visa...

She is doing her last minute shopping in Cairo Markets...

I bought the ticket 30 minutes after that...

Flying with Egyptair

If everything goes well, she should be here Friday night...PARTY...anyone?

I am happy, but I also pray for my sister to be reunited with her husband in Norway...they have been living apart for about four years now. By happy, but pray for Shima'a

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Ray Hanania is the Palestinian “Avatard”

By Hanitizer

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Spoiler Alert

Ray Hanania (the self-proclaimed “funniest Palestinian standup comedian”) and Jake Sully (a primary character in the movie Avatar) have a lot in common. Here’s how:

Jake is a paraplegic vet who is brought to the planet of Pandora, which is inhabited by the Na’vi — a humanoid race with their own unique culture and language.

Ray is a mentally challenged Palestinian man whose Jerusalem-born father’s sperm sent him to the country of America, which is inhabited by the Yanks — a society with its own unique culture and adaptation of the English language.

Freaked out by the coincidence? The similarities don’t end there…

In Avatar, Jake and his brother served in the army. Interestingly, Ray served with the air force and his father was a member of the US army. And just like Ray, Avatar Jake likes to fly on dragons.

Jake and Ray both think of themselves as building bridges of understanding between two peoples. As such, Jake took a Na’vi mate and Ray finds himself married to a Jewish woman.

Jake thought his work with the Na’vi people would help change the Na’vi’s opinion of the human race. For the same reason, Ray calls himself a “moderate Palestinian voice.” (Sadly, Ray is only an Arab when it advances his career.)

Jake’s mission is to exploit his Avatar identity to help the human military gather intel on precious resources scattered throughout the Na’vi’s rich woodland. Like most Palestinians who come to the United States, Ray’s father probably came to America in search of a better life, more opportunities and to enjoy an abundance of resources not available to him otherwise. In exchange for Jake’s intel gathering, he’s promised a spinal surgery that will give him back his legs. Ray, who lacks a spine, hopes that his efforts as a “moderate Palestinian voice” will attract the attention of someone who is able to help him reattach his manhood.

While gathering intel, Jake records video blogs. Ray likes doing the same.

Both Jake and Ray appear to be confused about their identities. Jake finds himself at odds with his people and the local culture. Ray, on the other hand, can’t decide whether he’s a funny guy or a serious scholar. Research confirms that he’s neither.

Jake struggles with a few Na’vi men who are suspicious of his motives. In 2002, Ray was denied a gig by Jackie Mason, a famous standup comic who rejected the idea of Ray opening up for him because he mistakenly took Ray for a Palestinian who kept it real.

Finally, Jake ultimately turns on his human race. And Ray? Well he seems to have no problem throwing Palestinians and Arabs under the bus.

Like I said earlier, Ray Hanania is the Palestinian “Avatard.”

[Tarboush Tip: Programmer Buydatti]

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Uncle Same Gives Arabs Free Health Care

The US government decided to extent free health care to all Arabs living in the States--the best health care in the world will be free. Thanks to new polices Arabs now will be able to have a free full body scan. Using either millimeter wave or backscatter X-ray imaging that usually cost upward of a 100 dollar are now offered for free to any person of Arab heritage. So next time Ahmad gets sick all he need to do is head to the local airport to get his free x-ray images. No need to go to those boring hospitals with young men and women running around in scrubs.

In perhaps surprising move, the Republicans who long have protested the new health care reform all came in favor of this new subsidized health care system, perhaps giving P resident Obama an early New Year present.

This is the greatest nation on earth, said one overjoyed Arab community activist.

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Signs Of an Arab New Year Party

17 Signs of an Arab New Year Party

By Hanitizer

For reasons unknown to mankind I found myself in New Jersey for this New Year. A friend of mine invited me to big Arab American New Year party in the Sheraton close to New York. I did go and I knew this would make it into a list, so I made sure to take a pen for the party. Here are few of my observations:

1. Most attendees are having a great time by dancing, eating and flirting, there is always that creepy and awkward kind of person who keeps staring at you and make you feel uncomfortable. He usually is seated on the VIP seating.

2. They only accept cash, and only cash. They figure paying with credit card is good to earn sky miles and Arabs do not want to get too used to flying.

3. The party only starts when that wealthy business guy shows up with huge cans to which his trophy wife is attached. Her cans are only rivaled by the female singer kicking off the new year. (Here is a dare to find an Arab female entertainer who is flat busted)

4. If a party balloon happens to explode, no one hides under the table out of fear of bombs.

5. No matter how hard you try to enforce a dress code, someone will show up in a Polo shirt and jeans and tell you, “You do not know who I am?”

6. Guys, we really need to figure out a way to cure baldness in the community, it is more eminent than getting Hannity’s insanity. Unlike money baldness cannot buy you love.

7. Best way to spot the single ladies is their constant movement around the room in and out moving in groups. Go ahead be a Tiger

8. There are at least two unidentified persons taking pictures or filming the event—as far as their employer, it’s a complete mystery.

9. Arab girls till this day swear they are blond naturally and I am naturally a leprechaun. Maybe it is the guys’ fault.

10. Most male attendees act like they come from douchebagstan by letting us know that really do not want to be here. Ladies, not since my last brush with Ash Wednesday in Boston have I seen as many prominent crosses.

11. Every guy shows up with at least three chicks and he makes sure to let you know that he is hell bent on abolishing polygamy.

12. Want to get everybody to dance it up? Dim the lights where cameras do not work, now see how most people will occupy the dance floor like the Israeli on Shaba Farms.

13. Arab girls are naturally shy, yet have killer dance moves; Arab guys dance moves make you wish they were shy.

14. Because a mob of hyper Arabs screaming 9, 8, 7, 6, 5….in a countdown is not suspicious or what so ever. You know what’s wrong when you see the white people duck and cover.

15. Why do we celebrate the New Year again? Last year was shittier than the one before it, more people will get killed, and we will lose more of our rights and make less money than the previous year? If anything we should look for a time-machine.

16. Because if her brother was there, you will be going home in an ambulance.

17. It’s not just a fine booty, it’s a fine Arab booty. I am sure the TSA full body scanners would gladly give it an extra pat-down inspection.

[Tarboush Tip: Yousef, Steve S.]

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Egypt's New Wall Post

A new post I wrote on the Huffington Post about the Wall on Gaza's Southern border with Egypt. The government of Egpy wanting to "protect" itself erected a wall to "stop" the Gaza tunnels. Read here

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Jehad Saw it Coming Tiger Didn't

This picture was taking on December 29 2008 in Las Vegas before the whole Tiger thing became public...my good friend Jehad can be seen.....I accidentally thought about it and then found it on my pile of digital photos...I think it is funny in light of all the news about his affairs.

(Click on the photo to enlarge)

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The Best News for this Year So Far

Roa, was able to leave Gaza today...she got to the Egyptian side and since she had done security clearance...they let her in. This is great news folks...I am excited for her. Gladly her school does not start till January 13th, and that will give her a week to get her visa in Cairo, I think that is sufficient time to get it done. It was a nerve reking watching the news and the almost made it, almost not games. She is on her way to Cairo...My good freind Shereen, an Egyptian will assist her in her quest for the US visa....All her papaers are in order and our fingers are crossed. Her being able to leave Gaza came as a surprise to me as she almost made it two days ago only to be sent back...Yesterday, I read the news about another chance...she was able to get out. Her father stood with her all the way until she left the Palestinian side. I have been calling left and right to make sure she is ok, and make sure to tell her family her whereabouts...

I am sure it has been a tring day for her, the lines, the luggage, the uncertainties, the chaotic border scene and leaving her family. As she was at the Egyptian gate, border violence broke and there were causalities. She took it all in stride!

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Santa Just Got Served!

Suck on this Santa, I have always wanted to put him on my labs, the guy always puts people on his and no one ever gets to serve him a taste of his own Medicine. I was able to do just that this Christmas and after all it was Jersey, at a home of a proud Palestinian American family that does celebrate Christmas. No offense Santa, but your tricks are getting old...Nobody calls me Ho Ho Ho and live to tell about it...Of course you took my hair as Mary suggests

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It just Happend to Me

Yesterday, it happened...it was so shocking what I had to go through to accomplish what I wanted to do...that's it I have to change course or suffer consequences. I never thought I would have to see it for myself and have to put a price on the things I value. It happened at my local Marshall's store, place where I spend some time. I had very little things that I bought form there, mainly sporty socks and that's why I did not realize until it was too late..."did you want a bag, sir?", I looked at the guy and said "Yes, please!" and then wondered why would this guy ask me if I needed a bag wasn't that obvious to him? and then it hit a minute late and five cents short...they now charge for bags in DC, but why does the Marshall's store does it? It turn out since they do sell gourmet food items such as coffee, tea, candy and chocolate...they are obligated to charge for a plastic bag. I live in a BYB district, I hope the fishes that my plastic bag was killing and my freind Kellee who works to save us all are happy now because I am sure DC's Mayor Fenty is in Cloud 9.

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No, Israel Cannot Save the U.S. of A

By Hanitizer

Since the foiled underpants bomber on Christmas, advocates and friends of Israel as well as media talking heads have all argued that Israeli security techniques should be applied in the United States to make us all safe. Israeli Security agencies claim their sole airport had no airport security breach since 2002 when a passenger managed to take a firearm into a flight. CNN did a special on Israel behavioral profiling, bloggers are already bragging about how Israel airport security techniques can save the day and keep us all safe, “What Can Israel Teach the U.S. About Airport Security?” wrote Allison Kaplan Sommer. David Harris wrote “What Israel Can Teach the World About Airport Security”
Those articles had to be written by individuals who the luxury to use Israel’s only International airport Ben-Gurion. While Israel continues to deny Most Palestinians, the majority of Arabs and all citizens of Muslim nations from using their airport even for a transit. Discriminating against people and using collective punishment is the only way Israel survives and not because they are more intelligent than the hard working American security agencies. The few Palestinians who use the airport (mostly Jerusalem residence, and foreign passport holders) vow to never use Israel’s airports for the humiliation and mistreatment they are greeted with. The few Palestinians permitted to use the airport are always assigned a security escort that shadows them during their time at the Israeli airport and that’s one aspect of the brutal security at Ben-Gurion that Palestinians have to live with. Unlike Israel, the States has tens of airports and a dozen of international airports as well as a little timeless document called the constitution that has established checks and balance. There are also things like civil and human rights that Israel has little regards to.

While those practices certainly keep Israel safer, they are also bad for business as Israeli airports loses a lot of business for those discriminatory practices. Israel stops at nothing to address the symptoms of the deices rather than the actual disease itself–their illegal occupation. Israel fails to see that the real problem in its security is not in what we have in our underpants and shoes, it is what we have in our minds.

But that’s just my opinion, here is the shocker that gives the Israeli cheerleaders the Middle finger. Schiphol, Holland, is the airport where Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab boarded the Airbus 330 heading for Detroit is actually under a contract with an Israeli security company ICTS to provide security and screening. According to a News Story it is an Israeli company that is in charge of security a the Holland airport was established in 1982 and today employs 11,000 security personnel in 22 countries. So all of you dogmatic right wingers and forgetful liberals put that in your pipe and smoke on it for awhile.

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The Gaza Experience: Women on Bikes…Now She Can’t

By Hanitizer

The government of Hamas has now effectively banned women from riding on motorcycles. This became a problem when the people of Gaza were put under an inhumane siege that restricts and limits the goods that make it to the narrow strip of land. Soon enough underground tunnels emerged and smugglers at the Palestinian Egyptian borders have started to bring in all sorts of goods needed in Gaza but banned from entering Gaza by Israel. Inexpensive Chinese motorcycles started popping in the streets of Gaza. Those little transportation machines have proved ideal for the narrow Gaza streets and its young populace. With brand names like Halawa and Dyson, and broken roads has made them a popular mean of transportation. With inexpensive smuggled subsidized Egyptian gas and relatively higher cab fares (due to shortage of replacement parts), demand for motorcycles has skyrocketed.

Shortly, young Palestinian families started using those rides to move around town, the father with a kid in the front and the wife in the back. It seemed as more and more families started to ride on bikes mainly to save money, many conservative Gazans started to whisper. I found myself one day getting in an argument in cab when an older gentleman complained about women riding on bikes. While, I do not see this as a problem threatening the social fabric, the older man raised the point of public safety. Unemployed Gaza men have an advanced degree in leering, so a women on a motorcycle might create a distraction for male drivers. However, from my personal observations, the only women that ride on those motorcycles are the ones that tend to be more covered up even their faces are veiled, not a distraction for most. So, if you had an image of a hot blond ridging on a motorcycle behind Top Gun, you are thinking too hard. And since the government of Gaza has solved all of the problems of Gaza, they have turned their attention to women on motorcycles.

Early October of this year Hamas banned all females form riding on bikes. In other words, if you feel the urge to take your bike for a ride, make sure to leave your spouse at home and if she needs to come with, get her a cab with complete strangers. But many residence of Gaza applauds the ban, “A bike is no place for a lady” said the Gaza shop owner I spoke to. The rationale might be directed at the wrong group, although hundreds of Gaza men have lost their lives or suffered serious injury because of bike accidents, not a single incident involved female passengers. Gaza insurance companies are still reluctant to offer insurance coverage for bikes and thus tribal law takes affect in the case of death of injury caused by a bike. To their credit, the Gaza government every now and then launches road campaigns to stop bikers from going on fast roads and occasionally detains the bike and the owner. Such police tops focus their efforts on popular roads for bikers such as the one on the Gaza beach and the Southern part of Salah Eldeen highway.

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Gaza Wishes Sedrot a Happy New Year!

By Hanitizer

It’s already 2010 in Palestine. Gaza kicked off the new year by sending the city of Sedrot homemade Palestinian fireworks; the only kind that is available in Gaza. This comes as a Genuine attempt to light up their neighbors to the north night. “Well, last year the Israeli Grinches stole our Christmas, we felt compelled to wish them a happy 2010!”, a Palestinian Mactivist was quoted. We figured, there is not much we have in Gaza to share with the Israelis of Sedrot, the least we can offer is light up their sky and bring joy to Israelis. This is our “Holiday gift” for our good neighbors to the north. We all look forward for a marvelous decade full of pissing matches.

P.S. Oops! This just actually happened http://www.fpnp.net/arabic/?action=detail&id=...

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Jersey Girl

I was at this holiday party at my friend's home and I ended up talking to a girl from New Jersey, she attends school at Columbia Law. She was talking about her trip to Kiwi Land and how exotic it was. Her flight took her to LAX Airport in California...I told her that time spend at Lax was the true culutral shook not New Zealand...strangely enough, she agreed with me.

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New Year Fact

I have yet to meet a skinny Arab Priest...you can blame all that fine cooking at the Arab churches in the community potlucks. I just meet yet another Arab Priest at a New Jersey Church that goes to prove the point. Happy New Year it is

I say Istanbul, you say Constantinople in your attempt to tell me that history matters. I say Palestine...you roll your eyes and say, it is Israel now. Seriously?

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