Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Funny Thing is...

-I moved into a new apartment in McLean VA, a really nice upscale area. I moved in with a family that I have known for some time. And from my window view, I can see the pool and people at the pool which is awsome during the summer! The first thought that crossed my mind was, "Wow, now I do not have to go to the pool to pee, I can do it from the balcony and the pee will get into the pool" Same results. I know this is bad, but I could not resist!

-In some immigration form I was filing for my work permit the other day, the form which also is used for citizenship and immigration asks for my race, and here are the two options that shock me: African-American, Native Indian. I was like why would native Indian want to become a citizen of the states? What part of native do not they get? Or the African-American, I mean does not the name say it all? They are not just African they are also Americans, so why would an immigration form include such useless and maybe insulting options. There was an option that reads white, but white can also be European who is seeking immigration to the United States. I thought this is the tax money in action.

-I was visiting San Francisco During Thanksgiving of 2001, such a nice place. Giving the reputation of the city, its parades and its colors, I was like wow, here is a couple holding hands, and another and another, then I got sick of it and gave up. So I went into a bathroom to take care of business, when I was in there, I hear a man talk, "No, Jack, not here, change your position!" I was like what? I started the panic, as the man's voice continues in comfort "Yeah, good boy!", "there is where I want you to be" I was like "What on earth are they two doing in the bathroom?" So I rushed out and then as I was washing my hands, the man walks out of the bathroom with his husky! I am neither used to two men being in bathroom together nor men with their large pets along for the ride in the Toilet.

-I think crazy people should not be allowed to own pets, maybe anyone who wants or owns a pet should be under contact review think Patriot Act! Ok, I admit I do not like pets, but when i see them mistreated, it breaks my hear, it really does. So maybe anyone who wants to own a pet should have three friends vouch for them to make sure that this person is a sane entity.

-If you are not a person know to have wisdom, what do you call your wisdom teeth? Or better do you have them?

-If you can have a biological offspring, why cannot you have chemical or physical offspring? I was never known to be a person of science.

-The image of Homeless people in mind, is a man dressed in old, dirty, and smelly outfit. Not in Portland, the homeless there wear Polo shirts and nice cargo shorts.

-If you are an person who does not have blue eyes, and enjoy a nice pair of black eyes, would you still call your eyes black if someone punched you in the face and your eyes are swollen.

-A Arab, Muslim coworker of mine was driving me home and he was bragging about his training to the FBI and how the agency gave him a a nice parking lot, near the door of the agency so he does not have to walk too far. I was like "Hey man, I hate to bust your bubble, but they wanted to put you where the camera sees" I told him that they might have watched the Godfather movie where the infamous line says "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" since he is a Muslim that would make sense to get him a closer parking space. He said, "Yes, I think they wanted to give me less space to run from them!"
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Friday, August 10, 2007

Kosher vs. Halal

Kosher Hot Dogs have a tag or a slogan on their kosher product "We Answer to Higher Authority" which I think it's cool. However, if the Muslims to introduce a line of halal Hot Dogs in the West, what would the tag line be? I was thinking something along the lines "Killing, we are good at it" or maybe "We Kill Right and...left", maybe another one could be "Slaughtering, Perfected" , "Let the Muslims kill for you!" for change. Any other ideas?
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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Fire Truck!

I know I have not been updating my blog as often as I should, I apologize for being a bit lazier than usual. Well, last night around 11 PM, the fire alarm goes off again, this is the second time it goes off in two weeks. I do live in a magnificent building, like 17 stories high three different building connected together. I was in bed and I was last to move, so I told my roommates not to worry about it, or worry as much as they want, but I am not going to leave my bed. They looked from the window and saw some people out and asked me to go down. I yelled at them, these outside are the Asians in our building, they like to be safe and do not have a sense of humor to speak of. I think last week, it the fire was due to some Jewish guy in our building burning his bacon which ironic because Jews do not usually eat bacon (made of pig)No wonder God told them not to eat it thought. He Jewish guy in our building must be absenting the Lord! I think people who went to the street were all modeling their night gowns, that if they had any clothes on since last night was one of the hottest in DC. I have to admit though, when I got out two weeks ago due to the fire alarm, (something I did not do this time) I was entertained to see what people carried with them as they were leaving their houses escaping a fire. Some had pets, all sort of pets here, some had clothes, a guy had a computer, another woman carrying a jewelery box. My favorite the guy who was running from the fire and saving his box of Krispy Creme Donuts! Peace
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