Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Smoking Gaza

I have always been frustrated by the fact that at least 40% of Palestinians living in the occupied territories smoke on regular basis. Other than the obvious health risks for the smokers and second hand smokers, there is the painful economics of smokers. People spend a significant portion of their income on tobacco products--money that can be used to purchase food for example. but then, I was thinking that if the people back home did not smoke, what else would they do to release stress and pressure? It's not like there are gyms, movie theater, parks, malls or other outlets. I can live with the fact that the people are smoking their life and their life savings away, but the alternative is much uglier.

As non-smoker, I do recognize that those who smoke find peace and tranquility in the tobacco products. The situation is so dire that, I think that if those who smoke to release their stress, are no longer able to do so, we will have a problem! I think they might be more violent, might be tougher on their children, or even rough with their significant other. Those are all things I would rather not see, but till that day I say "No, Habibi,smoke baby smoke"
Continue Reading...

Drving Me Bunker

you know your off to a lousy day, when the bust you are on, take a wrong turn, and the bus driver looks at you and says "I messed up," and then asks you if you know the way to get your destination? Oh Really, how hard is your job?
Continue Reading...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pound 4 Pound

Here is some bad news!

Your Doctor tells you "Congrats! you dropped 15 Pounds!" Normally, this would be great news and you would want to share it with everybody! However, since we are a week away from Halloween (Candy Season); a month away from Thanksgiving (Pie Season); two months away from Christmas (Rich Dips Season). This comes as bad news! whatever your doctor tells you that has been dropped from your waist, is only history...you will pack those pounds! I want to see the doc in May and hear him say "Hey, you gained weight!" I would rather be an obese dude, and not the jerk who will always decline food when offered!
Continue Reading...

Native Virginia Apples

I was in the Shenandoah National Park over the weekend to hike the Old Rag Mountain, which turned to be quite a pleasant experience. Once we finished out hike and since it is apple picking season, I had planned to go buy some local farmed apples. There were couple of stands on street corners, I had my friends--one from Jerusalem stop to grab some apples. The stand owner proclaimed he is "a native" Virginia man since my friend Ari commented on how much he likes his accent. Ari felt the need to share with the vendor that he used to pick apples up north in Apples orchards in the "Holy Land" the money the vendor heard the holy land (we had to repeat it twice!) He said we need more of that here, we need some of the Holy Land into this place, he mentioned something about big men taking the money an running with them. I looked at the farmer and my friends Ari and Kira Lee and said "Well, sir" I do not think the concept of the Holy Land is not working out for them too well over there! I think he did not hear me, but my friends who are liberal (surprise, surprise) thought it was worth a chuckle.

I honestly do not know what he meant by we need more of the Holy Land here, but in general whenever people of faith come together and unite, the ones who are not members of that faith are diminished. and I mean any religion and ever religion. They all however, make an effort to be inclusive of those who they might disagree with. But on issues that matters, minorities suffer in any religion dominated state...and that's why the constitution made sure that checks and balance are intact.
Continue Reading...

Monday, October 20, 2008

Bar The Target!

Let me tell you about a bad day....

A bad day is when you wear a red shirt and go shopping at Target on Saturday morning and have strange people approaching you to ask various questions about different merchandise. On the same day you walk into a bar that you have always wanted to visit, you take three female friends of yours and barge into the bar...only to learn that you are in a gay bar, almost all are men! Strange men look at you with disapproving looks!
Continue Reading...

Flafel shoP

This is one of my favorite places in Gaza to dine with my dad...whenever we are in town to buy some products for our business...we would always stop by this shop and have a decent breakfast for roughly three dollars for both of us. It brings back some cool and warm memories....

the video shows you a typical Falafel shop and how they make and serve food for thousands a day in many hole in the wall shops.

Continue Reading...

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Too Funny Not To Share

My favorite is number 6, 7 and 11

have a laugh on me

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Sexual Favors' .

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because
You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' (one of my favorites!)

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ..
Continue Reading...

Monday, October 06, 2008

Hockey Vs. Queen

Two facts about Hockey games I am grateful for,

-Hockey is predominantly white game; white people watching white players.
-Hockey is a violent game and the rules allow for roughing up the other team.

Can you imagine a bunch of brown or ethnic people playing hockey and getting angry at the white dudes in the other team. I cannot imagine how much street rioting in places like Alaska, Milwaukee, Quebec, and Minnesota!

I was listening to the ABBA song, "Dancing Queen", a song that is easy to get stuck in one's head. I was in a poor mental shape once this son took over my head, it took over my soul and I stated speaking in tongues. I had to call a priest, an imam and a rabbi to perform an exorcist on me to cast out that evil spirit.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then whom would a garlic a day keep away? the girlfriend?
Continue Reading...

Thursday, October 02, 2008


American politicians run away from any Arabic and Muslim associations faster than babies running away from tainted Chinese Milk.

An angry white politician is called a populist...an angry black politician is called a militant.

Not having a car is like having a small "male anatomy", with one difference, everybody seems to notice the shortcoming

Republicans brag about America "the shining city on a hill", but they want the lights to be only seen by themselves; Democrats ask us to tun off the lights to save energy.

Both parties agree on all major issue, the only thing that bring them together is singing praises to Israel. So much for both candidates; one wants to bring "change" the the other wants to put his "country first".

Arabic marriages are easy, you always meet the parents first, and then your significant other to be. In America it's the other way around, but meeting the parents in America is a lot scarier.

Palestinians and Blacks have a lot in common, one of the commonality is that fact that we both have open houses for people who just got out of jail. We Palestinians actually brag about time spent in the can; it's like a right of passage for every member of the community.
Continue Reading...


My Hanitizer

My Assault on Proper English Must Go On


Hanitizer Copyright © 2009 WoodMag is Designed by Ipietoon for Free Blogger Template