Showing posts with label arab. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arab. Show all posts

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Fashion And Celebrities Cultural Precipitation Does Matter










Lebanese singer Myriam Faris goes to attend Paris Fashion week, and she leaves little to the imagination. She literary shows everything there's to see. And even people walking in the streets took notice of this notorious Lebanese pop star.  
At the same function where Myraim was putting on a show, another American celebrity was there, but this time the American celebrity dressed more Conservatively.

Kim Kardashian wore a long black dress that revealed little. No question, Kim can wear whatever she wants like she has always manged to shock people with her outfits. Now compare the two... Myriam feels the pressure, she comes from a culture where people think she might be conservative or she might not get style or she might want to cover up...so what does she do?

Well, this Lebanese Arab girl wears that to tell people "I'm free", "I am bold" Naturally both Arab and Western people were shocked by the choice of wardrobe. Meanwhile Kim, comes form a culture where anything goes, so she does not have to represent her people or try to claim something she is not by trying to shock the system. for Kim to dress in a conservative dress is the shocker--maybe. As of what would Myriam Faris get I am still not sure.

 Many of her fans now are questioning her taste and her style. And those in the West, are shocked, but she is not showing them something new or something that they have not seen before. I do not think she will be giving a role or a new song by one of those international event goers. Just be yourself, will you?
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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

UAE Maryam Darwish, She Can Fix Your Car


In pretty much all countries mechanics are almost exclusive trade saved for men. Even in developed countries female car mechanics are considered a novelty. Not too many females grow up thinking they want to be grease monkeys, but guys do not seem to mind it.

But in the United Arab Emirates, there has been a recorded case of a female who is very capable of fixing one's car. As you know, most mechanics tend to take advantage of female drivers where they bring their ar in for service.

She is a mother and wanted a job to bring home the bread. She applied to some trade school and they trained her well. She confesses it was not easy at he start. Her kids protested at first, but then the came around to it. I like how she closes the interview by saying that I want to show them that women can do pretty much anything.
  
In the UAE
 مريم درويش: أوَّل إماراتيَّة تعمل في تصليح السيَّارات
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Thursday, May 17, 2012

Arabs Might Not Swim Well, But Arabian Horses Do


Not too many Arab people can tell you they are good at swimming, many are no doubt, but most have a fear of water. But horses tell a different story.



Horse Swims 3 Miles 3 Hours!


An Arabian horse named William was rescued from the sea on Tuesday after he got spooked and ran into the water, swimming two miles out to sea. The 6-year-old horse bolted from a beach photo shoot near Santa Barbara, Calif. and plunged into the ocean, launching a rescue effort that included helicopter searchers. He was finally spotted two miles from the shore, swimming toward oil rigs. Rescuers attached a hook to the horse’s reins and pulled him into a boat. He was examined by a veterinarian and released back to his owner.

Horse takes three-hour swim in ocean after getting spooked during photo shoot on California beach. Owner Mindy Peters said the 6-year-old Arabian, whose official name is Heir of Temptation, was part of a photo clinic on the beach when it was spooked by waves and ran off.


So a man with a camera scared the Arabian, just like we human we freak out when we see an identified man with a camera....could it be he is working for one of those national security agencies? 

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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

So Where Does The Middle Go?


In DC, the Arab and the Muslim scene in terms of organizations are either or. You are either white or black, you are either cool hip and down or traditionalist and secluded. What I am trying to get at here is the following, in DC there are two Arab groups or Muslim ones, the one that does drink, party and wear really short dresses. And there are those who are conservative, and thus identify with either conservative groups.

I find myself somewhere in the middle, I do not drink, but I do not like to be identified solely on my religion. Thus, an official Arab organization here in DC might have a dinner, and serve wine and other alcoholic drinks. I do not feel this is me. On the other hand, there are those who band together based on religious identity, those are usually fine if it wasn't for two reasons that tend to keep me away from them.
  1. They are heavily monitored and they tend to be under surveillance more so than any other groups, who needs to feel like a celerity surrounded by government paid paparazzi.
  2. One ideology seems to rule that group and you are assumed to be part of such ideology. Meaning, there's some older person who thinks they can make your decisions for you or judge if your head cover is too bright. Not always, but this has happened in the past.  
I am sure, members of other groups face similar challenge as they are in the middle road. I tend to call myself and others who feel the same way, cynically observant. To me, it means I believe, strongly in what I practice, but I am unwilling to get up in people's faces about what I believe. Further, this means I accept that there might be other people out there who have it right too.    
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Monday, March 19, 2012

The Syrian DJ, the Saudi Dancers and the Revolution in Syria



Full Story

Indeed, in the larger context of the Arab Spring, no country’s internal struggle has http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifbeen more defined by division than that of Syria. Unfortunately, the mainstream media narrative has more or less ignored this important factor in favor of creating a loud anti-Assad din. The truth is the Syrian opposition is not united, does not enjoy the full support of the Syrian people, and is largely foreign-funded. We simply cannot ignore these facts.

Like most Arabs, when the Syrian revolution began, I was 100 percent behind it. But as time passed, the revolution transformed from a local movement into a far larger, multinational plot. All of a sudden, countries with dismal human rights records are backing the Syrian revolutionaries while preaching democracy to the Syrian regime.
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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Ways My Arab Family Screws With My Head


Sure, they are the most loving, caring family who often stay close, which means you can never escape them. They are like capitalism where greed is good. They keep moving the goal posts as you approach them. At times, it seems that your own family is never happy with what you have accomplished, and thus they always set the next milestone for you. Like if you tell someone here in America that you got a new job, they just say "Congratulations", but Arab families in some twisted ways would rain on your parade. It turns out that my family are masters of the Back handed compliments, here’s a sample:

  1. “Mom, I met a cool girl!” “Good for you,” she says, “is she from a good family or does she watch MTV all day?”
  2. “I got married!” She says, “Cool, I look forward to the day you will have kids and they will fill the house for us.”--you live in a refugee camp
  3. “Dad, I have a baby girl!” He replies, “Cool, I look forward to the day you have a boy who will protect that princess.”
  4. “Brother, I got accepted into the Master's Program!” “Cool,” he says, “I look forward to the day you get your PhD.”
  5. “Sister, I got offered a job I have been wanting for a long time!” “Congrats, I look forward to the day you will have your own business.”
  6. “Grandpa, I bought a new car.” “Cool! I look forward to seeing this car trashed as it gives you joy and utility.”
  7. “Honey.... I hit my head!” “Sorry to hear that, I look forward to you living longer and hitting your head a few more times.”
  8. On Facebook, you put a picture of a nice dish you made, and your cousin writes you this comment, "I look forward to the day you have kids who will savor their mother's cooking!"
  9. “Mom, I just got accepted into Harvard!” “Congratulations, one day you will make a nice doctor”--what she refuses to believe is that you will be studying fashion design.


If the first thought on your mind is “WTF!”, then we are on the same page.

Such comments are sometimes innocent and mean no harm, but sometimes, they are meant to zing you. Bringing one some humility, as a reminder they still have a long way to go. They are rarely meant to make the case that you are not good enough!

My issue with such comments is that they are no longer about you. The family members hijack your news and write on it all their own wishes and dreams--all the things they think you would like because they themselves value them. It's tiring, really, to keep up with those games. I just keep a low profile and don’t tell my family much.

On a positive note, such wishes keep me going, marching toward the next big thing in life; they give me goals and purpose. I am sure Arabs are not the only ones who do that. Thank goodness there are the Italians.
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Thursday, January 12, 2012

حسسني أني رخيصة A Toilet Grade Song Recorded In A Bathroom



Some Lebanese lady (lady is loosely defined here) recorded a song to the beat of Katy Perry ET. While the original song was a celebrated one, this one belongs to the shitter. Make Me Feel Cheap, is the title of choice for this song.

The story behind this song is as bizarre as the song itself. Moe, some guy in Lebanon wrote the lyrics for this song and Shonda, is the girl you hear her voice on the track. She is asking for S and M sex with this guy, she is asking to be humiliated. Now, this is even weird for America's standards.

This is a bizarre song that allegedly was recorded in some college's bathroom. Puritan Muslims are inflamed, it only takes one distrusted individuals to get these guys up in arms. Now singer is asking to be abused, tortured and beat. In some minds, this is freedom. But when she receives those things, then human rights groups would have something to report on.
حسسني اني رخيصة


P.S. The pictures is for a Lebanese singer called Haya, Haya did a song titled "Ya Allah Shu Sexy", a crass way to say someone looks sexy.
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Friday, November 25, 2011

This Halal Thanksgiving I Give Pam Geller The Bird




Not sure if you heard this story here

Butterball Turkeys have been certified halal (the Muslim equivalent of kosher), this is a big brand in Turkey that want to sell more of their birds. Now, some conservative bloggers found some conspiracy and now they are making a mockery of this ordeal.

I first want to thank Butterball for their initiative to provide, Halal turkey that many Muslims appreciate--I am not keen on Halal business, but now many are. Such conservative voices won't have a paycheck unless they manufactured something about Muslims in America and went out to cry about it.

I found this is odd, here's why.
  1. Butterball is making a business decision not a religious one, they want more value and they thought doing Halal Turkey would earn them new customers. Whatever happened to conservatives being pro business? Why are the conservatives trying to stop a company from making a buck?
  2. Butterball sells their Turkeys overseas in many countries where Islam is the religion, it makes sense they would have a Halal division. Why are those conservatives trying to undermined an American company that is doing good by doing good?
  3. Muslims celebrating Turkey day, should be cheered not jeered. No one celebrating Turkey day would be a danger to you. They are part of the society and their shopping choices say as much. Why are you rejecting those Muslims who want to be part of the greater American community?

Per Butterball website:

Butterball is one of the largest global turkey providers in the world. For more than 25 years, Butterball® has been providing quality turkey to markets around the globe. Currently, exporting over 100 million pounds of turkey products annually to over 50 countries, it’s no wonder that Butterball is one of the most celebrated choices for turkey. Butterball is committed to developing the best new products to specifically cater to all international cultures. From our bilingual packaging to flavor profiles geared toward international palates, we are continually developing unique ideas that satisfy the tastes of our customers.
On another note, I do not like when a noble concept becomes a commercialized. I resent that fact that few in the community have established a labeling mechanism which they provide to certain companies if the price is right. But with all that, next time I am shopping for a bird, I would make sure to buy myself a butterball, and send Pam Geller and her loons a bird--the kind I can gesture.
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Thursday, November 17, 2011

My Three Most Recent Posts On Arabic Music



Every now and then I write for other blogs to get the word out about a particular subject that I like or dislike. The past 7 days, I had authored 3 blogs for the World Wide Variety News Blog The Huffington Post. I used to focuses on politics and I still do, but now I try to write more comedy and about Arabic music. While on the subject, sometimes Arabic music can be comedy as well.

Here are the thee topics with links to read the full:

  1. From Resistance to Pop: Liberating Palestine with an Auto Tune. This article is about the rise of pop music coming from Palestine and its new voices. Read here
  2. Rima Fakih, Miss USA, Quotes the Koran To Show Her American Patriotism. This is about the Lebanese American Miss USA that was in DC last week, she gave a talk about challenges she faced living in post 9/11 America Read Here
  3. Iraq and Roll Comes to a Town Near You Read. This one is about my favorite Iraqi rock band, that makes some fine music worthy of a world wide audience Here
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Sunday, October 09, 2011

Marry Them Young And Unleash The Drama



Few months ago, I wrote about a new song by the King of Arabic pop Amr Diab, a song in which he tells a young gal that he wishes she was a bit older --two years older so that he can approach her--maybe marry her or something of that nature. When I heard the sneak peak of the song, I was hoping the king of Arab pop wouldn't include it in his album, but he did. Read more about the song here

Well, it's becoming taboo to marry a person younger than 18 even in the Arab world, even here in the States some states allow those of the tender age of 16 to marry. But in all fairness, 16 year olds do get married sometimes, but in my own family, no one has gotten married younger than the age of 18 but one sister of mine. It's all about being busy and having something that keeps you busy. If one is in school or working full time, they can defer as much as they like to.

Now here's what moved me to write this blog, a relative of mine who married a young gal at the tender age of 16 is now having some domestic disturbance--four years later. What I am hearing is this, that wife whose now 21 has upset her husband because supposedly she has been talking to some of his make friends on the phone and for him that was the end of the line.

If this is true, this is sad. Sure she is at fault for doing that, but we really don't know the circumstance of those alleged phone calls. Now here,s what upsets me: if you are marrying someone at a young age, you should expect them to do things wrong. You cannot be sane in your mind and expect them to act like grownups do.

The main reason people marring younger souls quote is that they want to shape the person they are marrying. Even though, I disagree with that mentality of course, but if their purpose is to mold the their spouses personalities, then they have not done a good job shaping the characters of those they are marrying. That's all.
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Saturday, September 17, 2011

Lupe Fiasco Takes a Bullet For Palestine



Chicago rapper Lupe Fiasco doesn't play it safe, he speaks up his mind. For rappers that means talking about their "Hood", "Benjamins" and "Bi*ches". Lupe wants none to do with that, his thing is Palestine.

Lupe is a very well informed rapper who knows a thing or two about world affairs. While he knows his managers might not appreciate his tough line on Israel, the fans seem to love his stands on Justice and Palestine.

I have written before about Lupe's activism on Palestine before (here and here), but this time, a brother of my freind was attending his concert with a Palestinian flag. The rapper saw that and asked Sami to come up on the stage with to wave the flag.

Toward the end of the song Lupe took up the flag, and its only right for him to do so as the Palestinians go to the UN asking for a state. Lupe seems to be well versed on the topic and he is talking about the issue. Lupe is the man. I salute him for giving a voice for those who have none.

Lupe Fiasco - Beautiful Lasers Live (Palestine)
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Monday, July 25, 2011

The Terrorist of Oslo and Muslim Observations



The massacres in Oslo shock the world as they unfolded. I could not help but reflect upon the tragedy. At first I was shocked by it, but then my second thought was this, "I hope the killer does not look like me or have a name like mine" I knew there are thousands of Palestinian, Iraqi and North African immigrants living in that country. I have been to Norway in 2000 and have seen many of them. My brother in law also lives in Noway--away from any major city.

The terrorist of Oslo, says he hated Muslim immigrants and loved Israel so he killed close to a hundred people in Norway to "be heard".

Muslim terrorists say they hate western governments and love Palestine, so they killed in NY, VA, PA, Spain, London and all over the Arab/Muslim world.

Conservative here dismissed any attempted to understand the mentality of the terrorists. Any attempt to understand those terrorists would be an apology for those cold blooded killers. Progressives wanted to understand where this hate come from.

After the Oslo attacks, it seems the roles have changes, the motive of the killer is among many his hatred toward Muslims. Conservatives all of sudden are interested in listening. Progressives now are using this to make the point that terrors has no race or religion, they are no interested in listening this time around.

All agree murder is murder, but each one takes away something different for this tragedy. Norwegian Anders Behring Breivik is no hero for most, but those loud voices of hate in Europe's right wing must be ashamed of themselves. As one of their own destroys one of their key arguments "One Muslims are capable of mass murder"

I hope people in charge are not using this to score some political points, we all mourn today with Norway. From the comments I have seen so far on Arabic news websites, this is a huge shock even to those Muslims long portrayed as murders.
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Friday, June 10, 2011

My Shawarma With Arab Comics





I love comedy and I enjoy jokes, and people who have a great sense of humor. I know many comics including many Arab ones who are quite entertaining. I am a friend of many of them and I enjoy their company until they start making comedy sound like some community service thing they are doing.

What I mean to get at is this, comics do not do their gigs as a community service to "empower" Arabs, jokes do not empower you one bit. Comics either tell jokes to make money or becasue it feels good to be in front of people. What I do not like is when an Arab comic brags about how their jokes are somehow a PR campaign for either America or Arabic--that one varies based on location of the set.

I want to see the Arab comics make all the money in the world, I just do not want to be insulted. When I hear them imply that Arabs in the Middle East love jokes and like to laugh, I feel like throwing up. They like to laugh, they have been making comedies for a centuries now in film, theater, and books. So do not act so surprised that they laugh. Everyone likes to laugh, you are not making a huge discovery when you see an Arab laughs at your joke. Yes, you are a great comic, but they laughed long before you, they laughed with you and they will laugh when you are long gone.

This mindset might be an American one, where they like to claim to are the first to doing something, just to help their marketing, ego or whatsoever. Maybe becasue they are the only one who has an HD camera and took it there to film a show some Middle Eastern village. Just like Starbucks did not invent coffee, they just figured a better way to market it.
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Monday, May 23, 2011

Israel: "Oh...but you killed my cat"



So, the current Israel government and their allies in the republican party have officially gone off the reservation. They are ushering a new phase of peace negotiations with the Palestinians, which is the following, "Shut up Palestine, you do not exist and you will never do" That's what I am hearing from these guys. While the Palestinian leadership has been working hard to establish recognition from the world community, distancing themselves form violent and turning in any Palestinians who engaged in violence, Israel counties to steal more land from the people of Palestine and target/kill anyone who feel like killing.

So when Obama said the borders of 1967, these clowns in the Israeli government and those Republicans (and some democrats too) who put Israel first before American, no one dare to question their motives. Not just that as Israel continues to deft the wishes of the US let alone everyone other player in the world community as well, the US still wants to give them more money in aid and few dare to call them bluff.

Not sure what this Israel government is thinking, comes September then this is will be the real rapture day for them when the state of Palestine against statehood from the UN--sure the US will try to block it, in fact they will. And this act alone will bring an end of the PA. Then a new phase will be upon us, the one man one vote operation. One state solution, no more Jewish state crap just like no more white South Africa junk in the 90s.

I do not think the government of Israel has any plan for that moment--other than restoring to violence of course. Cannot wait to see September 2011-the deadline the Obama administration put forward for establishing a Palestinian state.

In all honesty, I am beginning to draw an analogy here. In America when you live under someone's roof, you abide by their rules, even if those people given you shelter are your parents--you sign away your right to have it your way when you move in. Israel has taken over the basement and the US is asking them to abide by no rules, but rather common decency, they say no! Why stop there, now the person in the basement is making up new rules and expecting you the home owner to abide by them. And if you so much and think about kicking them out--the blackmail you and tell you "Oh, but you killed my cat"

my two cents...
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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

6 Types of Arab Mother in Law

Vanilla Ice Pose, baby.

Poking fun of mother in Laws never goes out of style, they are like special species that we all try to decode and analyze. While I genuinely love my mother in law–she is a doll. I feel that the number one factor Arab females take into consideration is how they get along with the Hamatti, Arabic for that person from hell. From what I hear and see in Syrian soap operas, it seems that Syrian mother in laws are a different breed, so in their honor here is the six types of Arab Mother in Laws the universe have blessed us with.

  1. The Auditor: She is not a bad mother-in-law, she just doesn’t know any better. She lives down the street and appears when you least expect it (like when you’re playing “backgammon” with your husband). She shows up with stuff that your kids threw away and gives you a lecture about it: “In the old country, this would never be OK!” Although she’s definitely your best choice for a babysitter, you shouldn’t let her get too close to your daily routine. The Auditor can never sit still, and she will always find a way to criticize your clothing, cooking, and the way you choose to raise your children – pardon me, her grandchildren. To survive this one, play chicken with her, she may give up.
  2. The Friend: She is just grateful that you put away her childish son, the one that gave her a hard time since she spent 12 hours in labor with him 30 years ago. She takes your opinion on her wardrobe and family matters and she respects your educational background (as long as you’re not a veterinarian). She is nice to your mother, and at times she may even appear selfless. She keeps to herself and rarely intrudes. The Friend makes it a point to kill you with kindness. Of course, expect your own mother to become jealous of the buddy-buddy relationship you have with your mother-in-law.
  3. The One From Hell: She says evil things like, “When was the last time you even looked at a stair master?” even though she’s 40 pounds overweight. When you try to dish it back out – or at the very least hold her accountable – she plays the health card: “Oh my heart, I only have a few more years to live, Allah sa3adni.” She enjoys authority and loves abusing it (like the time she made you sit at the kid’s table last Eid al-Adha). She spares nothing when insulting your origin – your family is from Homs?? – while conveniently forgetting her own less than stellar roots. Nothing you do will ever be good enough, especially when it comes to food (even though everyone knows that your maklooba blows her shit out of the water). Whatever happens, do not wish her ill and pray an IDF illegal bomb shrapnel will find her way to her foot, but only her foot! Your only recourse is to win your father-in-law’s affection, and pray that he is able to balance out The One From Hell.
  4. The Passive Aggressive: She acts like you don’t exist and she only talks to her son (aka your husband). If there’s something important, she only asks for his opinion and ignores you, pretending as if you are unable to intelligently contribute to any conversation. It’s almost as if she sees you as her son’s roommate, someone that he keeps around to help pay for groceries. But, the Passive Aggressive is just trying to figure herself out; her brothers stole her inheritance and her mother never hugged her enough when she was a child. Your best bet is to scream into a pillow, take Mary Jane as a mistress, or find an excuse to relocate to Alaska.
  5. The Indifferent: She is too busy with her own life and doesn’t have time to worry about you let alone your children. She’s pleasant, but don’t expect her to put down her Blackberry when she’s talking to you…or to offer to help you prepare Sunday dinner. She does an excellent job distancing herself from everyone around her, and never drops by to say hello – unless of course she needs something from her son. She has a career of her own, and half a dozen other daughters-in-law, so you don’t really matter to her that much. However, take caution: this may change the moment you have children. The Indifferent will work harder to get close to you and eventually to her grandchildren.
  6. The One That Wants To Outdo You: She thinks she is hotter, more chic, and younger than you. She even wears Apple Bottom jeans cause she thinks she has more swag than you. Everyone knows that her nose, lips, and cheeks are fake, but they don’t dare say anything for fear of having rumors spread abin the past year, but they choose to ignore but they all fear to tell her that to her face to they let her live on her own never land. God forbid cook anything in the microwave; she will never let you forget how you tried to poison her son and grandchildren, and she will be at your house every night insisting on cooking your family dinner. She is the alpha female of the house and she will mark her territory with droplets of your pride. Don’t try to marginalize her or downplay what she says. With the One That Wants to Outdo You, it’s all about the games you play.

[Tarboush Tip: Andrew]

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Monday, April 25, 2011

Learn Basic Arabic video



It's obvious that most of my blog visitors are non Arabic speaking bunch. So here's a simplified video for learning Arabic on the go. Enjoy this under 4 minutes lesson with this good looking Arabic speaking Lebanese.

Learn basic greeting, introduced yourself, count, the days, and ask for help if needed. This is a very basic lesson that should get you started. It usually takes 6 months to can count yourself as someone who speaks Arabic, but it really takes years of practice and work to get to a level where you can make sense to any Arab.

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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Odd Things Arabs Tourists Photograph

Some people like to watch birds. I like to watch Arab tourists in the US. Most amusingly, they take the strangest photos. As a rule of thump, Arabs prefer not pictures of food, as so many Americans do abroad; nor do they point and click at everything like their Japanese brethren.

Here is what I see Arab visitors snapping away at where I live, in Washington, DC.

  1. Cars, nice cars any cars really, but especially any late 1980s Corvette or Camaro.
  2. The McDonald’s golden arches. Pizza Hut’s red roof caricature and the KFC bucket logo—because they remind them of home. Taco Bell is ignored.
  3. Anyone in uniform—a policeman, a firefighter, a security guard, a postal worker.
  4. Blondes—real or fake, it does not matter.
  5. Servers @ Hooters, and the pics are only to be shared with the dudes back at home. It’s like a strip club for the dudes from conservative countries.
  6. Hookahs. Nothing screams I am keeping it real as blowing smoke, plus they can ask people back home to guess where the picture was taken, since nothing is crazier than a shisha place in NYC.
  7. Anything that comes on time. It’s worth taking its picture since this concept is non-existent back home (and in many places in the US). OK, this does not really happen, but it should!
  8. Homeless folks with their coin jars who tell jokes about poor Americans and give unsolicited advice to tourists. When you expect to visit such a rich country, nothing is more novel than a homeless dude. In the Arab world, homeless isn’t rare, but public begging is outside of the massive cities. Getting mobbed by kids selling crap is a bigger phenomenon for tourists.
  9. Mosques and Arabic churches are like the Arab McDonalds, super exotic and therefore photo-worthy.
  10. Government offices. In DC so many look ancient Roman or Soviet in architecture, so it’s like time travel. But yeah, take a picture of the symbols of American power while it lasts.
  11. Airplanes, we really cannot help by take pictures of those flying beasts. I have no idea why.
  12. Bridges, dams and those damn FBI undercover agents, well if no one warned them what NOT to do in the US.
  13. Segways, those silly mobility devices, because the roads back home make such vehicles impossible and people just look ridiculous riding them.
  14. Extremely obese people walking, talking, moving on scooters. Although for Gulfies, the sight of fat people may no longer be so interesting.
  15. Anybody that looks like a rapper, which for the lighter Arabs is just about any black person. And yes, many think the average black guy “looks like” some celebrity. That can lead to embarrassing moments.
  16. People in exercise outfits. Sorry we do not exercise. The closest thing we have to exercise is reproduction activity, and we’re not wearing anything.
  17. Any protest, whether by paid union protesters, or the nuts camped out by the White House, is a great subject for Arab cameras.

Arab tourists like taking photos of the surprisingly familiar, as well as the exotic. Most important is they show everyone back home what they were up to on the trip. Aren’t Arabs so strange!

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Tuesday, March 01, 2011

The Fifteen Lies of Arab Dictators



With Gaddafi on the ropes, and Ben Ali and Mubarak relegated to the history books, we are getting a better sense of the delusions that Arab dictators propagate to justify their authoritarian powers.

Usually, the first big lie is something like, “I do not want to be president, I am just doing this for you.” They all think they’re benevolent despots, or at least they like pretending to be. That lie’s an obvious one, no one cracks down on dissent, rapes their country’s resources and puts billboards of himself all over the country out of the good of his heart. So we will include the more interesting lies in our 18 point list:
  1. If I go down, Al Qaeda and extremists will take over the country (which is SO MUCH worse than the extreme idiots in power now)
  2. The country will go into civil war and break apart (as they effectively attack protesters and try to turn the country against them)
  3. Life is good for my people! (despite 40% unemployment and everyone complaining in private all the time)
  4. The economy will collapse (even if it is oil-based or barely functioning already)
  5. The protests are an American-Israeli conspiracy (even used by allies of the US)
  6. My people love me!!!!!!! (as much as they love the plague)
  7. I promise major reforms (bigger prisons!)
  8. The protesters are all foreigners. See we caught one with a foreign passport! (she works for IHOP)
  9. I love this country too much to actually listen to the people who live here (just like those Kosher hot dogs, I answer to a higher authority)
  10. The opposition drinks, gives people free money and uses crazy drugs (because they have no legitimate qualms whatsoever)
  11. I have done so much for this country (a monkey at a typewriter could have done a better job)
  12. The protests are Facebook/the internet/Al Jazeera’s fault (no, it’s your’s)
  13. I’ll step down at some named date in the future (yeah, right)
  14. I am not the president, I do not have any real authority (yeah, just like those really old Wal-Mart door greeters)
  15. I am in firm control of the country! (if you exclude my obnoxious family )
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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Pest Control in Libya Qaddafi Style



Did you get a chance to watch the Qaddafi speech about Libya? It was a treat...more than an hour of rant and angry rhetoric that makes no sense at all. The Libyan lunatic man kept talking about those oppose him are rats...he used the term more than a dozen times, and yelling it too...those rats, those rats did this those rats did not do this...it was a colorful rant.

He also asked his people to come out and cleanse the city from the rats, and he said the Libyan army will handle the rats.

I have one word for you, in the rest of the world when they have a rat problem, you send in the pest control services, not the army, the army cannot control this problem. So maybe instead of calling the army you ought to find some pest control service in Libya, they can help you out....

Or better yet hire grandpa, no one known how to entrap a rat like he does, I have seen it and it's gross, but it works. That way the army can have more time to dance for you.
Gaddafi's speech excerpts
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Monday, February 14, 2011

The Day a 5 Years Old Led a Protest



Watch this little Egyptian five year old boy who led a protest in chat against the now former dictator Mubarak. The little boy was brave and had more political background than many everyday Egyptians.

He does a good job in leading the chant against the regime and its leaders, and symbols. I am sure his parents must be proud of this little rascal who rallied the protesters around his little voice, and was heard around the globe.

5 Year Old Child Leads Revolution in Egypt!
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