True Stories Yet to Be Validated

Sign Reads: "Wanted Queen For Hanistan" "Interested" "Call Now"


-Hooters have a new energy drink, I saw it at the Korean Store the other day and it has their signature blond female in an "outfit" Is it me or what does Hooter have to do with energy drinks? The only thing I can think of "Hooters Energy Drink, Ladies, it will bumps You Up!"

-The Same Korean store had also beer and wine, but this time these wines and beers have rebates...What for? People who consume beer are most likely to forget about these rebates in the heat of the moment. This is a scam, things we buy when we are sober, we do not even bother to send in the rebate...how are those who consume alcohol would be able to send in their rebate? I doubt it.

-Since it was Thanksgivings time last week, I love how many people brag about their recipes, "Hani, this cranberry sauce recipe has been a family secret since the day..." "We only pass in in the family," "it is a secret" Ohhhh....once I tried the awful cranberry sauce, I realized that the family should have been kept a secret, so I would not get to taste it."

-I live in a bad part of town, so bad that when you call an ambulance, the patients and the medics carpool in the ambulance to get to where I live.

-I do not do drugs, once you get to my level of sophistications, it is dangerous to do your own stunts, I have people do drugs and I just watch them do it.

-My friend Mustapha has a Jewish Mother and a Muslims father, one side of his family is scared of him and the other wants him dead.

-Rock Stars are so hot it makes sense why they have so many fans.

-When I do stand up these days, there is always a spotlight on the stage, I guess it is a tradition...Anyhow the first thing I think to myself when I am there "It is always good to be under the spotlight and not be asked a lot of questions and tied up to a chair"

-These days they have organic shoes, really they do, this also helps me lot since I am prone to sticking my foot in my mouth!

-If you are an overweight person in the shower, then the only friend you have in the bathroom is fog on your mirror so you cannot see what is going on with your bud!

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Things I will Remember to Forget...and so will you!

Here is an exchange between me (and my bud Jehad)with some crazy person who really hates Muslims to a degree that I have yet to comprehend. This person named AMPER0003 has a website that blogs and posts mean spirited videos against Muslims. Nice? No but OK, legal and unimportant! this person went to my videos on youtube and started writhing some interesting things, very vulgar so if you do not like this language...please do not read! You can tell this person has poor grammer, any other ideas? Have fun....

amper0003 (1 week ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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What do you want, morons?
The question is really stupid. But the Answers are all correct. All the islamic countries are populated by moslems, right? Yes. Moslems are stupid islamofucks, right? Sure!
Therefore it would be absolutely correct to call all moslemic countries as Crapistan, Ham-i-stan, Stupid-stan, or
Fuckistan.
Allh-hu Fuckin Acbarr.
alkabeer101 (1 week ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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Were you abused as a child? You know you can get help! I highly recommend you do just that! May the Force Be With You!
amper0003 (4 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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Just a couple words in responce - you do not deserve more:
Fuck Islam and fuck Muhammed.
kofkoto (6 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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God bless America and their smart ass people who have discovered so much .. like the fire ... mm .. and where the sun rises from ... and such things that 95% of the people here in the US don't even have any clue ...
I am so glad I am NOT an united states resident and I am NOT gonna spend the rest of my life in that brain-washed cell...
amper0003 (4 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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You will spend the rest of your life being fucked from behind by your moslem friends. You're Bulgarian, right, so you might still like it.
Russia made a mistake sacrificing lifes of her soldiers on Shipka. We should have let Turks stay there and beat a living shit of your grand-grand-grand-grand-daddy.
Go and learn Turkish and Arabic. You'll need it in the near future, stupid Dhimmi.


alkabeer101 (3 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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While you were on the boat coming to America, you obviously didn't learn the most important
American value: religious tolerance. Like I said before, just keep talking. Let the world see how much you are full of hate. And keep the good spelling and grammar coming, you're making us laugh.
amper0003 (4 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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Come on, smart ass islamofucks, who the islamofuck care of your Crapistan?
Go and ask the same question in Mazari-Sharif, idiot..
alkabeer101 (4 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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keep talking. We love to see your insightful thoughts displayed for the rest of the world to see. Just keeping talking! Show the world your creative thinking and clever vocabulary. Best of all, you are more of a joke than the video. Ever thought about comedy? You are ART imitating LIFE.
amper0003 (3 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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Be careful, islamomoron. You're making fun out of desent people. The very people who created (and still do) the United States of America the way it is - best country and best social system in the world. It allowed me, the immigrant with empty pockets as well as millions of the like to sucsseed. Try to show Bible on the streets of Saudi Arabia and you will be jailed for ever.
You think of yourself as a desent person, probably.
You wrong.
alkabeer101 (3 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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At what point was George Washington, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson or any other of the Founding Fathers made fun of? These are the people that created this great country! I am the grandson of a Muslim immigrant who is also a veteran of the US Army. What have you done to serve this country? Maybe you are just a penniless immigrant that came here for the welfare? My grandfather was too busy working hard to badmouth people of other religions .
amper0003 (3 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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First. It is nothing wrong to be a penniless immigrant. Or is it, islamofuck? As millions of others I made it. And you are not at a position to accuse me of doing nothing. I completed my MD in Electrical Engineering here, by cleaning at night and paper delivering at the morning.
amper0003 (3 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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Now my job and my taxes are paying that back very generousely. Second. Live Fouding Fathers alone; You make your silly videos with one goal in your little brain: To make the viewer think that all Americans are "funny ignorants". And you, Islamofuck, DO know perfectly well that this is not even close to reality.
Shame on you.
alkabeer101 (3 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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Everyone pays taxes, even undocumented workers with fake social security numbers pay taxes. Now you think you know what I think. Do you have a degree in psychology?
alkabeer101 (3 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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I was wrong to question your economic status. The obvious deficit lies in your command of the English language ;)
amper0003 (15 hours ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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It is a bon tone to use capital letters while mentioning any scientific discipline, my extra-sofisticated islamofucking friend. One doesn't need to have a degree in Psychology to bite you through. Allah don't like overestimators. Or does he? Modesty, rather Intellectual Modesty - this is The Word you must repeat as a mantra while praying your beloved Moon God five times a day. You over-estimate yourself. Remember - everybody can see that. Even my dog Muhammed.

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Day Thanksgiving Happy

Muslims do not consume Pork...
In a recent scientific survey, 99% of the pig population approves the Muslim Population, one percent that does not approve of the faith tends to have low job satisfaction and a low self esteem. That's some good news for the Muslims, that's why Fox News need to hire more pigs!!

I do not know what so many people when do learn I am a Palestinian, they decide to introduce me to their Jewish friends. "Oh, you are a Palestinian, you have to meet my friend Shai, he is of the Jewish faith" I say, "Sure, I will meet your friend,I am in the mode to meet some yahood."

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My Veins

So I went to see the doctor the other day. I had the day off, so I thought I'd do something productive! So the doctor wanted to get a blood sample for a regular check up (cholesterol level) and the nice doctor who was German, (very efficient as we all know) and he did everything on his own, no nurses.

To get this blood he poked me more than five times to get to my veins. But could not get any blood out of me. He was so embarrassed, and joked, "For God's Sake, please keep your arms covered!" Good thing I was his last patient for the day. But I thought it was funny, the doctor drilled my hands like that, I think he made me feel like Saudi Arabia where everyone and their grandma is drilling for something, I mean C'mon I'm an Arab, but one thing I don't have in my veins is oil!

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C-Span and Fruits

Did you ever notice that that Americans have more fruits in their shampoo and lotions than in their diet!

I have been gaining weight like crazy lately, thus I am grateful for the fog on the mirror when I am done with the shower so I do not have to see what is going on in my bud!

I know I am not alone in disliking C-Span, but dude, I freaking hate C-Span TV, it's so boring and pointless. They said that C-Span is good for American Democracy, and what do I know about democracy! But I can tell you this that my hate to C-Span makes me long for dictatorships!

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The Dead One?

I told a friend of mine that some members of a militant group in Gaza desecrated my cousins grave. Sameeh, my cousin his grave for the second time was destroyed but some secretive group, which is really sad for his family. There was a wedding in the family and the news came out during the weeding, it's sad. So, I was telling the friend who shall remain anonymous that my cousin's grave was broken (see picture) my friend looks at me and he/she asks, "The dead one?" I was like what!! What part about a guy in a grave you do not get, I am not sure if you guys bury your living, but yes, my cousin was DEAD!"

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The Broke Warriors

I have heard in many news outlets that terrorists groups go to the poor areas of the country and recruit members to fight for them. Since these poor kids and disadvantages has fewer options if any at all, they will most likely join in such groups that may or may not provide them with a salary or a welfare program. Being a poor is not a crime but being a terrorist is the crime and no one cares if you are a poor who is a terrorist. My second observation is how US army recruiters work in poor communities and tend to recruit more service men from disadvantages areas such as African-American schools, southern universities, or even immigrant communities. ROTC and others promise those recruits citizenships, scholarships and other benefits such individuals will join the military. I do recognize the moral difference since I am outside their groups, but I think in their own minds military men and terrorist think they are justified and have the moral cause. Thus, both sides of this war have the disadvantaged of their communities serving the military, carrying the fighting for them. This makes the war on terror is not fought by rich people neither American forces nor Terrorist groups enlist the wealthy ones. This struggle is a war for the rich fought by the poor. I do recognize that although a minority, there are well off individuals fighting in this war, but both do have their own ulterior motives.

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Kingdom Of Secrets...

Perhaps one of the reasons that many third world countries do not have democracy is because of their strong military sector in that country. Keep in mind strong military is a relative word, strong on their own people not necessarily on their enemies. For example, country A has strong military to suppress its people, but when country B goes to war against A, A loses without honor. Point is that since the military sector in these countries are very strong and major employers in that country, members of the army from the highest ranking officer to the lowest ones have to protect their employer and no one wants their paycheck suspended. Thus members of the army will do the most to protect their paycheck, not necessary the dictator they may disagree with and even hate him (notice it is not her). The moment a country has development and other employers than the army; it is only when people start wanting more democracy and diversity. I think from meeting lots of US troops and service men, I have noticed that the great majority of them are conservative Republicans who are die hard support tough policies and greater military presence throughout the world. However, the good thing is the United States is much more diverse and inclusive than third world countries in which militaries tend to be the sole ruler of the land. In other words, many dictators fear development because it may end up creating new jobs and two things would have to happen. The first is service men have more options of employment and they may join other sectors, causing them to maybe see the wrongs they were doing with the military, which will promote them to ask form more reforms. The second things, government now has to increases wages for their military personnel. So for a dictator to feel safe and untouchable, they need strong military that intimidates people with various branches such us secret police to build a kingdom of secrets.

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The Facebook Religion

I have seen many individuals who have changed their religion, converted to a different religion that the one raised into. Many of these individuals are great and spiritual and actually helped uplift me spiritually. On the other hand, there are some that I considered to be the facebook converts. Individuals in this group are usually lonely because they live among a group of friends who belong to one faith, thus they grow bored and question of it’s their own fault. Such individuals are good people and I am not questioning their faith or anyone's for that matter. However, in the same manner that a friend can send you an invite to join facebook or myspace or some other online networks, thus many join in religions for the wrong reasons because they want to have a network of friends, they also want to be part something big, a platform that some religions provide. In the same manner some of these converts may lose interests after joining a faith, in the same manners that facebook members abandon their membership in such services because it is not what they thought it would be. However, joining a religion for the right reasons is like having a great email address that is east to remember, maybe your last name and first, your friends all know to use it if they want to get a hold of you, you are least likely to want to change that....just a thought. There is also those who join a religion because they enjoy to be the victim. In other words there are some who are attracted to a religion because its controversial and they want to be in the center of something such. I hope I am not making a statement, but I have noticed this in various religions. I do realize that many do joint a faith for the right reasons such as founding spirituality and improving their relationship with the supreme power.

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Latest Stand Up GiG in DC

This stand up gig was three weeks ago in Dupont Circle Hotel Topaz, it went well, and the crowd liked it, I think my intro helped people get an idea of what they are about to get....enjoy!

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