Some Stuff...

Last gig at BYU Winter/April 2007, not my strongest, but went well and I enjoyed it...I work to introduce new material in each time I do Stand Up, I do not like to use old ones just because it is good, I want to always write my own things....so check out the video and be happy...




One thing I do not get is the logo for the ambulances and many health services, somehow it creeps me out. Let’s see what I mean “Red Cross” “Red Crescent”, and “Star of David” are the only approved and Red Cross recognized logos for ambulances around the world. But I think this kind of defeats the purpose of providing health care and saving lives. The only reason, we know the Cross (yet alone Red Cross) is because someone died on it, not lived on it. And Both the crescent and the Star are located in the Sky near the man upstairs…so what are the conflicting massages sent here? Are they trying to keep you away form going up to the sky and death or are they bringing you closer. It is like going to a Microsoft website and the first thing you see is a nice looking Apple logo…not in a million year.

I was in Arizona couple of years ago and an Apache man (A Native Indian tribe) told me that every good Indian must have a knife at all times. I was glad to hear that, but what does that make the Indians at the airport? Do they let them carry their knives with them? It makes me want to look at the Native Indians in the airport and yell “not a good Indian!”

I like slow music, when I came to the US, the only music I would listen to is, the slow ones because they are the only ones I can understand. I would listen to Sinatra and memorize his songs, my favorite was “Let’s Fly, Fly Away With me” great song. But since after 9/11, an Arab singing thing song will raise borrows and make people laugh at best. So I stopped singing this stuff. I got into Nelly; he had hit years ago “If you wanna take a ride with me….” And then cars started going off around the world, cars become bombs and I stopped with that song too. And now Ladies and Gentlemen, I listen to Celine Dion, the safer option.

I think it is unfair to say that no one can understand women. Yes there are those who can understand women and they are men. 30 year old men do a better job of understanding women, but by then it is too late to make a difference knowing at 30 is like unknowing, the pool narrows and knowledge is unimportant.

Watch this clip from the last show in April 7, 2007:



THE COAT HANGER

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small
daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the
pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called
home and told the baby sitter what had happened.

The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She
said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that
had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had
locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't
know how to use this."

She bowed her head and asked God to send her help. Within five
minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded
man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she
was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help. She said,
"Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I
locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this
hanger to unlock my car?" He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and
in less than a minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so
much! You are a very nice man." The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice
man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have
only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out
loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"

A Portuguese lady called me the other night a bit before midnight-I was in the library-she wanted to interview me for a paper! Having been in Provo for years now, I asked "Are the Missionaries going to be there?" I could not believe that she was serious and she wanted to conduct the interview in her house, she lives with a family. Lady, the only paper I want to see at midnight is a toilet paper and lately we have not seen these in my apartment in a while!
I did the interview with her, it only took an hour and I went to bed past 1 Am in the morning.