10 Reasons Real Conservatives Should Love Reel Arabs

1. We are as homophobic as you probably are. AIDS does not quite register with us, either.
2. We love big guns and hunting. Different targets, but we agree on the principle
3. We are all about religion. BTW, we are also cool with Jesus (even thought he likes to save, we like to trade)
4. Just like you, we hate freedom of speech, especially when they mock religion. Art is just a waste of time.
5. We constantly shout in a language no one can understand--kinda of like a Republican caucus.
6. Abortion is not an option. We hate it, too, because the world can always accommodate one more miserable soul.
7. Climate Change? sounds like Junk science to me. Say what? Pray away those things bothering us.
8. Political parties and key governmental posts are a text book example for sausage-fests.
9. Speaking a foreign language? We think Arabic is the center of the world, sure you feel the same way about your English.
10. We reject science and like to do it the old way - love to lament the good old and glory days and misinterpret the history.
11. We also say that we love minorities, but talk is cheap.
12. We absolutely hate paying taxes and love gold. (good place for a “we buy gold” joke?)
13. Working Women? What’s this? Maybe you’ll ask me about unicorns next!
14. Like you, we want it both ways - government get out of my private life and go arrest that queer having sex in private.
15. Drill Baby Drill? You have practically left no spot place at home without drilling it a hole in it. While on the subject of drilling, we talk smack about porn in public, but in private all bets are off.