Wednesday, November 02, 2011

18 Signs of Arabic Weddings

  1. Your DJ/Singer is also your Limo driver
  2. Everyone on the invite list has creative ways of describing how they relate to you.
  3. If they are your offspring, then they are fit–everyone one else is either fat or too thin.
  4. How come all the cloth napkins end up on the dance floor?
  5. There can be only one black guy, two Latinas and no Asians.
  6. The only time all Arab men in a 20-mile radius have no five o’clock shadow.
  7. The groom can never be the best-dressed man–all other men try to outshine him.
  8. Arab weddings and nuts go hand in hand. They are your main dish, your dessert and seated to your right.
  9. Everyone finds something to complain about to the bride and the groom during the wedding. No, they do not want to hear about your fad diet.
  10. No tents at this wedding; a UNRWA tent is where my family lived before they found their way to America.
  11. Everyone is a fortuneteller.
  12. Debt is no reason not to have a 10 tier cake that will be cut with a 4 ft. knife, also commonly referred to as a ‘sword’.
  13. Americans have Halloween to channel their inner whores, we get Arab weddings.
  14. Forget Arab lounge dot com–spice up your profile at these events.
  15. Girls have all the fun and guys just stand there looking like they were just handed a detonator for an atomic bomb. Although it’s fun to mention how Arab guys do that dance with the hands up, snapping fingers and then cornering a girl in the middle of the dance floor
  16. Everyone asking for free professional advice. If you are a lawyer, then other guests ask you about immigration. “Doctor, can I show you my rash?” Dentist? They’ll all show you their cavities. Gynecologist? The bathroom is that way. Just make sure the hedges are trimmed
  17. No need for a smoke machine, just ask everyone to please Bring Your Own Hookah (BYOH).
  18. No one fornicates, instead interested parties send their mommies to audit your body at an awfully close range.

[Tarboush Tip: Sana, Kellee]




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