Airport Rants

So just when I thought the airport security did a good job and was sweet to me in other words, they did not harass me this time. They did well and raised couple of points in my book. I was about to endorse flying again, if it was not for the crazy turbulences and the absence of any nourishment in the airplane. From Salt Lake City to Dallas Fort Worth International, the ride was bumpy and I thought i was going upstairs (even though when you are flying you are upstairs) even the flight attended was making faces and smiling at me because she noticed that I was disturbed. Here is a chronicle of what took place during my last flight.

Why is it that books sold at the bookstores in airports are creepy or at least have scary titles? Please none of the books they sell at these bookstores I can read. "The Last Jihad" "The Terrorists" "The Cell" "I Hate America" "The Manual" "9/11" that is the non-fiction how about the fiction "Bones" "Killers" "Assassins" "Blood and.... " "Haters" "Blow Up" "Time Bomb" "Airplane" even better "Snakes on A plane", Enough? How about "You are Going Down" that alone might be a terror alert when you are on a plane...etc. Let's be honest for a moment, no one want an Arab looking dude reading such books next to you in an airport. I think some of us will be arrested for reading such books in the wrong place. and if you do not get arrested, you will surely get some dirty looks. I would read other books, like Romance, but it has never been my thing plus the titles of such books are scandalous.

As I was watching TV at the front of a store at the airport, a dude walks up to the cashier and what I hear "Can you tell me where the terrorists lounge?" I was like huh? Does he mean terrorists dentition room in the airport? Who is this guy? But I got it when the lady answered him "The Terrace Lounge at that way!" I mean that is fine, but why do you do that? Why use awkward names that may get us in trouble? I mean I know I will mess up the name if I ever say it with my broken English. I guess that is one less place I have to worry about going there.

Since the flight attended got her jolly by watching me be scared from turbulences in the air, I did approach her and asked her if she ever get scared from airplanes. She was setting next to me because I was setting in the back of the plane. She thought for a minute and shot back "No, nah, flying does not scare me at all" which makes sense she is a flight attendant for crying out loud. I mean I do not eat Pork, so you will never see me working at the "Honey baked Ham" stores. She voluntarily told me that what scares her is NASCAR; she was from the South from her accent. She said that she was on the track in a car going 120 miles with other speedy cars. One gets the sense that this lady has an incredible sense of adventures, airplanes and NASCAR…what is next? Combine speed and height, the only logical thing she can do to match these adventures is to be an astronaut. "That did not make me comfortable" she was a sweet lady and she had the Southern charm.

Once we landed in Texas, I really was looking forward to eat some good Texas barbecue since it is the only thing Texans brag about other than "Do not mess with Texas" flags. I was so happy that my connecting flight was delayed 30 minutes so I can check out the Barbecue scene. I mean I know it is airport food still, but it in Texas. There were two dining places I found once called the "Barbecue Pit" they had lots of meet but they put all their meet next to each other and use the same knives on pork and other meets, the sausages looked good, but they were pork. so now we are down to one restaurant. "Texas Vintage" was the name of the other restaurant, but it was sad because it was a sit down restaurant and bar and it looked pricey. I was frustrated because I could not taste some of the treasures Texas has to offer. I ended up eating Chinese food; yes in Texas...they have those too. I was heart broken.

Do you know that there are some passengers that you absolutely hate? And I do not mean the guy with diarrhea sitting next to the window and want to pass you every five minutes to go to the restroom. I am talking about the people who do not want a drink when the airline offers it to them. "Sir, would you like a drink?" he looks for a second and declared to the world "No, I will pass"....Why? Why do you do that to me? You can pass it to me bro? I can enjoy two canes of tomatoes juice instead of one. C'mon, if the airline offers you something you take it when you can.

So airlines do not give you food no more, which is fine, they are all struggling to keep in the black. But it feels that these guys are not pulling it off and coming back with a profit. So they do not even give you food and still lose money...what would they think of next? I am afraid; they will make us bring food to their crew. Like hook up your flight attended with a foot sub from Quizno's (Toasty) and a can of soda (the flight attendant can keep the can) Maybe next time, we have to bring our own pilots too...It is sad