Updates

I now have officially moved out to Virginia, from Maryland, still work in the ADC out in Goergetown in the nation's capital. I have moved in Pentagon City with my college buddy Sterling Jensen...living in a nice apartment with none other than the Mormons! I love it.

I was running the other day near my new place, which has a really nice parks and trails for joggers....I saw a child care place called "The Busy Bee", their next door neighbor had another name "The Smart Busy Bee" I said alright...may be there are rivals. A block away from these two places, there was another place for child care "The Athletic Bee" Now, I have had it...this place called the athletic as appose to the lazy bee child care place. I am sorry, but are we expecting a little bit too much of our bees these days? Back home bees are for honey not for intellectual work not for sporting events!

Do Homeless people date? I would ask them but they frighten me and I bet I frighten them too. I mean it is cool if they do because one thing they do not have to worry about if they go out is the question of "My place or your place?" Obviously they live in the same place and all streets are paved equally. They might argue though, "My place is by the Burger King" "Home of the Whopper" "Have it your way!"

Bankruptcy lawyers, I feel bad for them! These are the only lawyers that I sympathize with them. I mean, if these guys are rich, then their clients are rich and should not be declaring bankruptcy to start with. How do they charge their clients? I am sorry, but their clients do not necessary have the best financial sense. Or worst yet, try to explain their work to their kids, “Daddy, helps people become poor!” “Daddy’s clients do not have any money.”


Be Safe...

Hani

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Back On....

I have a new show here on July 9 at this venue I like called Soho House of Tea and Coffee out in DuPont Circle in Washington DC so I am looking forward to that....Over the weekend, I performed in two nights, one at a wedding (interfaith Jewish and Muslim) and a party for a group of Muslim young men and women (ratio was 10 guys to 40 girls) sounds familiar? I was told that i did well, it was my first day with the such mix group of my people, most people reacted positively, but few did not appreciate some of my material. I saw some guy with a beard and told me friends to watch my back if he tackles me or something, he did not. I guess for some who do not know me and my personality they might think I am a sac religious person which is not true at all.
As for the Jewish/Muslim wedding was great, the audience had to have some sense of humor to be at the wedding. It was out in Vienna Virginia in this low key neighborhood. I tried some of my new material and did well, I had some people come talk to me after the show and ask me questions which was nice. The audience was a mix of students, professors, professionals, peace people and some off duty cops to keep the peace between the Arabs and the Israelis. Afterward we went to a party at some friends house, everyone was drinking wine, I went and grabbed me some Hot Cocoa which kept my awake.

It looks that I will be in the DC area for longer than I planned for since I was hoping to hit the road in go home before the holy month of Ramadan, things have chanced, people got killed, borders were locked, streets where damaged,....etc. The farther I keep from Gaza, the better for me and my loved ones...

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Few More Good Men

I have had another cousin fall this week, his name is jihad was waiting on Eriz to be evacuated to the West Bank and he was caught in crossfire between Hamas and the Israelis....here is a story about him:

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/872393.html

This is bad for all of us; I am troubled by what is going on home and the death of people I know by...I pray my family will be safe for the time being...

I removed the Video with Samih till I can get the video that few have of him shouting at the Hamas guys as they were puling him out of the vehicle, Ta3eesh Fateh Ta3eesh Al Fateh (Viva Fateh, Viva Fateh) which upset the high school dropouts and have them shot him in his legs even though he was shot in his chest and stomach...

I am sad for death of my cousins and many innocents in the struggle, but my cousin Manal has lost her brother Samih and three days later her husband Jehad…


I was sadden yesterday to hear about the death of my cousin Sameh Almadhoun by some of the militant groups back home, he was in his car with some of his companions where they were gunned down, he did not die but had wounds, they dragged him from his car and execute him in public minutes later. Some of you may remember him as i mentioned him in my blog he was the one who got me into Egypt and did me the favor of making some calls so I can go get my Visa to the US. Sameh was the leader of Al-Aqsa Brigade in Gaza and he was the last leader left holding President Abbas place of residence (Almuntada) This is really sad and it broke my hear may Allah be with my aunt and my uncle whose other kids are still running for their lives. There has been more than 10 attempts on his life before, and all failed, but this time they got to him. I won't be heading home for a while...

Here are some stories in the news about his death:
http://www.timesofmalta.com/core/article.php?id=264974
http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/story.html?id=40605c41-9ecc-4661-8c06-b6659be88eb5
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23400661-details/Hamas+round+up+opponents+for+orgy+of+killing/article.do

I have d

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ADC Convention

Part of the Annual ADC convnetion, there was a great comedy routine but the Axis of Evail comedy Tour....They were funny and entertaining, the room was sold out and they show was a milestone for both ADC and the Comedians. One of my assiginments at ADC was to sell the tickets for the show in addition I helped man the door, and after their show which I greatly enjoyed and learned new skills from, I had a chance to help the comedians sell their DVDs and merchnedise, I was there with them and helping them get their products sold, we sold all of their DVDS and they signed pretty much all of their DVDS and T-shirtis. After the show Maz asked me if I would take a DVD as thank you for helping them, both my and Tony my coworker got a copy each and they singed it for us...it was really fun haning out with these guys and getting to know them. They had many fans froom all around the United States and all walks of life.

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My CoZ

Here is a story from Gaza about my cousin, (his father and mine are brothers) he is trying to get into a PhD program in the Tel-Aviv University, nd the department likes his qualifications and wanted to interview him...read the story and yet the comments are best about it. It is something that more people should hear about...I grew up with this guy, he 28 years old with 3 kids. No he is not dead....read

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3409075,00.html

I wrote a comment # 44 commenting on the article...

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Someone Said....

School:
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.

Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

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CrAzY

Do you ever feel so speechless when something happens, that you actually want to speak or start speaking at that moment?

When I am bored and got nothing on mind that can get me to think, I just walk to the nearest pharmacy or Rite Aid and just "hang out" look at people and see what kind of medications they are buying. I know this is creepy, but c'mon it is fun and entertaining. "Wow, she has a headache and she likes caffeine" Or that overweight guy who spend 10 minutes staring at the weight loss products. I hear myself say "No, that's not what you need, what you need is a place called Gold's Gym" Another person "Why is she buying these all these cold medicine" "It is not even cold anymore, maybe they are on sale" If is lot of fun and keep in mind not to remain idle in one corner, keep moving so no one notices you!

It is funny how a lot of people in America tell you be yourself, and once you be yourself and pass gas in public, none of these people seem to be near by!

I was in a friend’s house last night and they were giving MTV Movie Award, on of their new awards is "Best Summer Movie You Have Not Seen Yet" I thought how could you give and award for something you have not seen yet, or am I old school? What if we want to take this principle a bit farther and apply it to life? Best grade in a class you have not yet taken award! Or Best promotion in a job that you have yet to apply for. Best car award for a car that yet to be made....ideas?

I think it is strange the way people ask us questions and then as we answer them with disagreement, we learned that we should have given agreed with them or gave a different answer. For example some one asks you "Do you like Europe?" you answer "No, but I like France, Germany, and Italy" ok these are in Europe by the way. Or "Do you hate immigrants" you answer no and further say "I do not like Latinos and Asians" Ok there are all immigrant groups to this country. Best yet, you asks guy 'do you like women" he scratches his head and declares "No, but I like how they walk, talk, and smell" OK one thing for sure this guy likes the females. Really I did this myself, I would give and answer and then think more about it and then say "I guess I like this..." after I have said the exact opposite a minute ago.

A friend of mine from Senegal lives in DC and told me how he lived in a high rise building in Silver Spring, and his apartment number was 911. Being a Muslim he does not like the number, but it was the only open place because not too many people want this number, it reminds people of bad things. After all the hassle he had, he decided to move into a different apartment, and the only one he could find was 711, which in his opinion is worse because he works in a 7/11 store and does not like it much. Finally he moved into a different apartment 311 when Spain trains were attacked. This is for real...not

Why do clubs call whatever they charge you at the door "Cover Charge"? It is not like you are handing people's covers and coats as they do not walk in, nor do they check your coat for you when you walk in. I know in the clubs there are people that if you see them, makes you want to run for cover. Also, it is not like any of these people at the club are covered, most of them are not well dressed. Clubs need to change the name before someone sues them for false representation.

It never gets old when a woman complains a bout how guys are dirty and not so clean and neat as if all women are this way. I think guys need to ask those who complain to zip it or else. Say "If you wanted someone who is clean why do not you date a napkin?” It cleans really well. Napkins are all over the place you can find them in every restaurant from the fast food to the gourmet, so that should not be a tough task.

As I was in the Rite Aid store I saw this weight loss product that has a guy in his 70 losing weight and they compare his picture with his pictures when he was 40. I was like wow; I did not know that you need a medicine to help you lose weight as you grow old? I mean I am happy for you that it took you 30 years to lose 20 pounds, but c'mon why did not you do it sooner when you were healthier to say the least? This is bad advertising and it is misleading to us all. I mean we see crappy advertising all the time, but this one either thins that we are stupid or stupid to believe their crap and buy their so cold weight loss system. Here is a better idea, go down to Latin America and hope you catch a virus there that will help you shed some pounds.

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Bring Crazy Back....Again

I do not get Modern Art, I feel some of the drawing are products of people of inferior artistic skills. In fact, Modern art is another evidence that Affirmative Action does exist in art.

My Mormon roommate was not doing well and his faith was deteriorating, so I called the Mormons Missionaries to come and offer him support. It is time to give him a taste of his medicine.

No question about it, American killed many Arabs in its war on terrorism. Arabs are loyal customers to American cars. American cars companies are struggling now. Why would you want to kill your consumers? It is just a bad business practice. After all Bin Laden likes Whitney Houston.

A local child school has a name of "WEE CARE" one thing we know for sure that kids at that school are not learning how to spell English words properly.

More and More comics and politicians make fun of Arabs and Muslims, many of my friends are offended by that. But I am not. I only make fun of those who I do not fear. This is a good start, I do not want to scare people or be that person. s
A friend of mine called me and he was offended and insulted than an Asian kid have shot the victims of at VA Tech, horrible I know. His concern however, that he thought only Arabs and Americans are committing all the action and shooting in the globe. I told him it was not funny.

People who are going to Iraq to protect the American war in Iraq hoping to create media attention are wrong. By going to Iraq, the only thing you are creating is funeral. Get Real...Join the Establishment

I love when food is labeled "naturally" or "sugar free naturally" I do not know about you but I do not think it is ethical to make crap up and just say it is natural, like making food out of rubber and saying it is natural. It is natural but it is not very good to eat. Made of natural dog crap, sure it is natural.

Whoever said that dog's are man best friend did not live in America, because if he/she has lived here and saw man cleaning after his/her dog. The Man IS the Dog's best friend, I do not see any other animals collecting other animals crap!

9/11 was horrible for me, really. it is the day, I had to throw all my New York T-shirts the ones I bought from New York earlier...I do not want to remind people of these events. And there also were the terrorist attacks that killed so many innocent Americans.

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