17 Things Arab Men Like to Bring Up

By Hanitizer

Being an Arab male myself, I came to learn of few things that most Arab men like to talk about with their friends. I have Arab male friends from just about every Arab country as well as Arab immigrants living abroad. Few of those topics of conversations included here are shared with people of other heritages. Besides talking about body anatomy, whenever I am part of a conversation with a follow Arab, the topics will include few of these subjects.

1- The possibility of suing the local government, no shortage of
adventurous Arab lawyers. “You mean to tell me, your town does not have a Ramadan Tree?”

2- Promote their latest fad in Hookah smoking, and brag about the amount of smoke that can produce. “What do you mean you never smoked from a watermelon?”

3- Talk trash about winning the last round of Tarneeb. “I beat you so hard, the Israelis took pity” when you are on a roll, it is hard to stop.

4- Share the latest stories and the never-ending tales of the cousins in the old country. “Wallah, My cousin beat up fourteen guys with his flafel wrap”

5- Chat about the latest aphrodisiac tonic. “Bro, I dip my nuts in honey”, “No bro, I dip mine in Tahini spread”

6- Whine about Fox News, since few of us Arabs exercise regularly, the one thing that get our blood bumping, and their heart racing are the Fox News anchors and the way they negatively link any news story to Muslims and Arabs.

7- Explain how their new flashy phone can launch a missile. “Those Gaza rockets cannot break through my phone” Seriously, we love phones more than fat kids love potato chips.

8- Confess about stomach Pain due to dining out at the neighborhood Indian buffet. Yes, Abed easy on the acid pills. The rice pudding is your ally at the Indian buffet.

9- Argue about the latest Speech by the Hezbollah leader, Hassan Nasrallah. “Did he just say he also has a crush on Obama?”

10- Discuss the artistic value behind the latest Haifa Wahby’s music video. “Not sure if I like the way she looks at me, she seems too intellectual”

11- Converse about the upside of wearing boxers vs. briefs in the events of an Israeli strip search. “I think boxers give you more cover”

12- Compare the looks of Angelina Julie with Starlet Johnson. “Angelina will bring Jesus Back”, “Starlet is the type of well-round girl my mama wants me to bring home”
13- Celebrate the latest Lakers win! Seriously, why do most of us Arabs like this team? For all it’s worth the Kings are owned by Arabs.

14- The best local place to get Halal meat. “I too like my butcher to hand rub my meat”

15- Talk Shit about America’s foreign policy! It’s hard not to.

16- Yes, your sister in law cousin’s son works for Krispey Kreme that is more than an hour away drive, he will hook you up with a free dozen. It’s ok keep the dozen and the cousin.

17- The Virtues of Opening another Subway Sandwishes Store.