So Where Does The Middle Go?

In DC, the Arab and the Muslim scene in terms of organizations are either or. You are either white or black, you are either cool hip and down or traditionalist and secluded. What I am trying to get at here is the following, in DC there are two Arab groups or Muslim ones, the one that does drink, party and wear really short dresses. And there are those who are conservative, and thus identify with either conservative groups.

I find myself somewhere in the middle, I do not drink, but I do not like to be identified solely on my religion. Thus, an official Arab organization here in DC might have a dinner, and serve wine and other alcoholic drinks. I do not feel this is me. On the other hand, there are those who band together based on religious identity, those are usually fine if it wasn't for two reasons that tend to keep me away from them.

1. They are heavily monitored and they tend to be under surveillance more so than any other groups, who needs to feel like a celerity surrounded by government paid paparazzi.
2. One ideology seems to rule that group and you are assumed to be part of such ideology. Meaning, there's some older person who thinks they can make your decisions for you or judge if your head cover is too bright. Not always, but this has happened in the past.  

I am sure, members of other groups face similar challenge as they are in the middle road. I tend to call myself and others who feel the same way, cynically observant. To me, it means I believe, strongly in what I practice, but I am unwilling to get up in people's faces about what I believe. Further, this means I accept that there might be other people out there who have it right too.