Thursday, December 25, 2008

Litigious Elves Sue Santa for Labor Abuse!



Remember those good old days where Santa used to rule the world and used to be more popular than that shoe-throwing Iraqi journalist and those fine days where Santa was a respected celebrity around the globe? Chances are you've forgotten about those days, which is why this post comes at no surprise.


A number of elves working at the Santa Christmas shop in the North Pole are filling a class action lawsuit against Saint Nicholas and his top productivity managers. "Who do they think we are? We are little people, but we cannot work as hard as Mexicans," said Rasheed Wallace, one of the few Muslim elves working in Santa's shop. "Since I do not celebrate Christmas, I love putting in extra hours." But Wallace said the stress and pressure this time of the year are 'unbearable' some elves go as far as equating their work condition with "sweatshop except that neither Bono nor Angela know of our struggle" Chris O'Keefe another elf took part of the lawsuit, "this is not against man in red suite," "we love the guy" "but rather we are going after the establishment"


Other concerns in the North Pole is the high unemployment rate among the elves population due emerging Chinese low labor costs are undercutting cheap elves labor and North Pole jobs are being outsourced to China.


It remains unclear whether Santa will be appearing in court anytime soon, but his lawyers' assured the media that the elves' case not only lacks merits but plain ludicrous. It seems that both Santa's legal team confidence and his sleigh are high in the sky.


American anti-Santa defamation league has came to his defense on a statement on their website "Santa brings Christmas cheers to us all" "we need to do whatever it takes to defend the man against those reindeer's chasers"


As if things cannot get any worse for the fat man in a red suite is caught in his own legal battle with a New Jersey Arab American kid who left him a plate full of falafel and mint tea, and not cookies and milk as it is customary! Santa who has allergies to anything where peas meet the chicks!

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