22 “Oh Snap I’m Back in Gaza” Moments

By Hanitizer

Gaza is no different than the rest of Palestine, people live on a day-to-day basis and everything is bigger than what it seems, everything is connected, everything that happens has something to do with politics. Here are few random observations I took of Gaza and the people over there.

1- A new cell phone costs 10 bucks, a flashy case for it costs 10.

2- Mosques are everywhere, like coffee shops in New York City.

3- July is the season for jellyfish and weddings, the first takes a bite of your arse the second takes a bite of your wallet. (Most people do not swim with their wallets)

4- When you buy a pair of pants, they throw in a pair of socks. But hell, it’s blazing hot and everyone is in either sandals or flip flops anyways.

5- Just because Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) got away with being illiterate, that does not mean it’s a virtue.

6- If every time someone mushed a cigarette into an ash tray they became younger, Gaza would eventually become the largest kindergarten in the world.

7- I’ve definitely had better Arabic food in Dearborn, Michigan.

8- If the amount of body sweat were an indication of wealth, Gaza would be full of Bill Gates-types.

9- Seventy percent unemployment (Real problem) yet the majority of the people dress in Giorgio Armani and Nine West (fakes).

10- Unlike Jordan and Saudi Arabia, no one claims to be a kin of historical or religious figures. Yet everyone talks like they contain infinitely divine wisdom.

11- If donkey farts were cold, Gaza would be Alaska (hopefully without Palin)

12- Being poor in Gaza is like going to the local Costco and having no membership card.

13- Who needs to hire a maid? Just marry out one of the boys and earn a maid the old fashioned way (I disagree with this; it’s the way it is).

14- New Gaza rule, the bigger his beard, the higher his ranking in the government or police force.

15- We hate what the Israelis do to us, we resent many Israelis, but we rush out and buy any product with Hebrew on it.

16- When food is scarce, hosts will still ask you to eat just a bit more. With all the high carb food aid coming in, getting fat is an option.

17- Gaza consumes tons of diapers, yet malnourished kids poop less.

18- Zoos are the new freak shows, every town has its own zoo, sort of like Gaza, confined space, and people watch you from the outside even though you’ve got plenty of nothing to do. Israel, the guard, makes sure visitors don’t feed the Gazans.

19- Most college students study either education or social work, but Gaza has lousy education and the society has no work.

20- I’ve been keeping my eye out for Gilad Shalit, since apparently he’s the most important hostage in the world, even more so that 1.5 million Gazans.

21- No one watches music video anymore, instead they watch for news about the opening of the borders—evidently better entertainment and increasingly looking like science fiction, some abstract. future possibility.

22- Drink Coffee or Die Bitch!