Saturday, August 01, 2009

Fat don’t Fit!!! (7 ways to gain some weight in Gaza

Going on week 4 of my visit to Gaza, I’m hoping to wrap up my short “vacation” in the coming days. To say the least about this recent trip to the Strip, I have definitely gained a few pounds. I stayed strong and said ‘No’ to many things like sodas, transfats, and heavily fried foods, but I had to bend on the sugar tea. I honestly thought Gaza would be a place to preserve my diet given the low food security in the Strip, but little did I know. Here is how I stacked the pounds against my will:
1. Food = Love and AppreciationIf I said ‘No’ to their hospitality, I was instantly put on their “Shit list.” When you have a humongous family like I do, obesity is your only motherfuckin’ option.

2. Staying Indoors Recipe (Ingredients: 2 cups of insanely hot weather . . . )You can’t walk outside during the day or else you suffer serious skin damage. Remember: Arabs prefer lighter shades of skin.

3. Mama’s home cooking is finger lickin’ good!Your mom makes you her assignment to make a statement about her cooking skills: The fatter you are, the better her cooking. In other words, if I’m skinny, it’s a direct reflection on my mom’s cooking skills and on my dad’s wealth.

4. Bummin’ the day awayWith closures, the siege, civil strife, summer season and sky high unemployment, there is only sleep and plenty of eating to do. It’s seriously hard not to sleep when the electricity is shut off at least three times a week.
5. Carbs and the Gazan Food PyramidRice, bread, potatoes and sweet tea are available in every home and the people of Gaza sure are creative in putting these starches to good use. Pretty much every meal in Gaza includes at least three of those I just mentioned the list.
6. ‘Tis the Season (to get engaged, of course)Getting engaged and earning a sweet mother-in-law can only make matters worse on the weight front. My body actually became battling ground between my future mother-in-law and my mom. What they were fighting for: Who can make me fatter? It seems that both sides have claimed victory as both have contributed to the loss of my petite physique.

7. Jims and Gyms are hard to findLack of clean and complete gym facilities make matters worse. The absence of paved and safe roads combined with the presence of insane drivers also discourages running.Fat don’t Fit!!! (7 ways to gain some weight in Gaza)
By Los
From the Hanitizer, who is currently in Gaza:
Going on week 4 of my visit to Gaza, I’m hoping to wrap up my short “vacation” in the coming days. To say the least about this recent trip to the Strip, I have definitely gained a few pounds. I stayed strong and said ‘No’ to many things like sodas, transfats, and heavily fried foods, but I had to bend on the sugar tea. I honestly thought Gaza would be a place to preserve my diet given the low food security in the Strip, but little did I know. Here is how I stacked the pounds against my will:
1. Food = Love and AppreciationIf I said ‘No’ to their hospitality, I was instantly put on their “Shit list.” When you have a humongous family like I do, obesity is your only motherfuckin’ option.

2. Staying Indoors Recipe (Ingredients: 2 cups of insanely hot weather . . . )You can’t walk outside during the day or else you suffer serious skin damage. Remember: Arabs prefer lighter shades of skin.

3. Mama’s home cooking is finger lickin’ good!Your mom makes you her assignment to make a statement about her cooking skills: The fatter you are, the better her cooking. In other words, if I’m skinny, it’s a direct reflection on my mom’s cooking skills and on my dad’s wealth.

4. Bummin’ the day awayWith closures, the siege, civil strife, summer season and sky high unemployment, there is only sleep and plenty of eating to do. It’s seriously hard not to sleep when the electricity is shut off at least three times a week.
5. Carbs and the Gazan Food PyramidRice, bread, potatoes and sweet tea are available in every home and the people of Gaza sure are creative in putting these starches to good use. Pretty much every meal in Gaza includes at least three of those I just mentioned the list.
6. ‘Tis the Season (to get engaged, of course)Getting engaged and earning a sweet mother-in-law can only make matters worse on the weight front. My body actually became battling ground between my future mother-in-law and my mom. What they were fighting for: Who can make me fatter? It seems that both sides have claimed victory as both have contributed to the loss of my petite physique.

7. Jims and Gyms are hard to findLack of clean and complete gym facilities make matters worse. The absence of paved and safe roads combined with the presence of insane drivers also discourages running.

1 comments:

Mary on August 1, 2009 at 9:00 AM said...

God bless Mamas and in-laws too, it is alright to gain a little weight but watch your heart and fat belly(abdominals) too, specially eating sweets like white chacolate, dark chacolate is good for your heart, that,s what they say.

 

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