Palestinians Finally Accept Blame for the Holocaust

Abbas and Haniyeh agree to disagree on wording

Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas and Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh issued a joint statement apologizing to Israel for the Holocaust and for the high Palestinian birth-rate that endangers the long-term sustainability of the Jewish state.

The statement distributed by Wafa, the official Palestinian News Agency states, "the Holocaust was horrible and our ancestors were cruel to orchestrate it, for this we Palestinian people apologize to the Jewish people, and accept the in-gathering of the Jewish people in historic Palestine."

They also regretted the growth in the "demographic threat to Israel" and announced that sex for reproduction would be outlawed in the occupied Palestinian territories.

They announced that after forming a unity government between the factions, with the full backing of the United States and the Israel lobby, they would convert the Maqata in Ramallah to a Holocaust museum, and evacuate Hebron to be left for Israeli settlers to enjoy.

The statement had harsh words for the Grand Mufti Haj Amin al-Husseini, a Palestinian nationalist hero, for instigating the genocidal Nazi regime's attempt at exterminating Jews, among other unwanted, non-Aryan groups.

The Israeli public welcomed the statement and in turn declared sorrow on behalf of Israel's founders for plundering Palestine, destroying more than 400 Palestinian villages and sending more than 70% of the native Palestinians into exile. The government of Israel expressed a similar sentiment and declared today a checkpoint and closure-free day for all Palestinians and even welcomed non-Israelis on the bypass roads in the West Bank.

This announcement follows another bold move on the part of the Palestinians who sought to correct their historic mistake by throwing a concert for Holocaust survivors. A Jenin-based musical ensemble made of young Palestinians played for a group of Holocaust survivors.

The concert that took place was an hour long and was part of the event Israel’s Good Deeds Day, which is supported by a wealthy Israeli billionaire.

The conductor who arranged this surprised performance -- neither the musicians nor the audience expected the other -- was welcomed as a hero in Jenin afterward.

Next week, Holocaust victims will visit Palestinian refugee camps to read Elie Wiesel's "Night" to children, assuming they get permission from the Israeli military to cross the through the gates of the walls around the ghettoized camps.

[tarboush tip: Will]