Thursday, April 30, 2009

A Semi-Stereotypical Defense of Mexico

Mexico is just about as popular as President Bush thanks to the swine flu. Flights are being canceled left and right.

Thanks to this little bug going around, the entire Mexican nation is the world's piñata right now.

Conservatives are pointing fingers and immigrant-bashing; liberals are eating Thai instead and changing their vacation plans to Mexico. Trashing Mexico and its pigs is national sport in many corners of the world. But in the time of crisis, one must remember all the great things Mexico contributed to the world.

In an attempt to show solidarity with Mexico, we have compiled a semi-stereotypical list of items that we have Mexico to thank for. Please add your suggestions in the comment section.

Will
Ranchera Music
The American Southwest (Free Aztlán)
Alberto Gonzales
Taco Trucks
Ask a Mexican
The term 'Gringos'
Subcomandante Marcos
Lean like a cholo
Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite
Kid Frost
Charizo
Emiliano Zapata
Half of Salma Hayek
Montezuma's revenge
Foreign Exchange students
Lambda Theta Phi
Lowriders
Novelas Mexicanas
Pancho Villa
The Cuban Revolution
TJ
J Lo's first movie
The Alamo
Texas (can Mexico take it back?)
Tequila worms
Best Summer Olympics ever (HUGE footnote - See Sean2009's comment)
The Mexican-American War
Cheech Marin
El Caminos
Tacos Árabes
Cool Catholicism
Maquiladoras (border sweat shops)

Programmer Buydatti
Cheap Weed
California
Girls gone wild
Speedy Gonzales
Taco bell
Mexican Cheese
Eva Longoria
General Motors
Mexicans smugglers are also the reason why half of my family is here in the states... so they hold a special place in my heart
Their girls are also the #1 reason why non-Spanish-speaking honkies watch Univision

Jillian
Progestin (and therefore the birth control pill - ironic, huh?)
Vulcanized rubber
The number zero
Color TV
Rocket Belt
Selena

Diana
Cheap Labor
Mexican soap operas used to be a hits in the Middle East

Fadi
Donkey Shows

Mohammad
Several hundred million dollars in income to Israeli border security 'experts'

Fayyad
Everything about Mexico is great, except that Carlos Mencia is half-Mexican.

May
For letting us dump all our mutated corn from our subsidized farmers into their already oversaturated domestic supply (since we can't seem to invent enough packaged snacks and cereals with HFCS).

Mehammed Mack
Gael Garcia Bernal
Cactus and cactus by-products
Rancheros
Panaderias
First Under-age drinking experience
Zapatistas
Tijuana makes you grow hair on your chest
Nice hospitality for nauseating American tourists

My List
Thanks to Mexico many Americans can claim they have “culture” and that they speak a
foreign language.
Mexican women since almost all Arab immigrants to this country have dated at least on
e.
Chocolate is another gift that Mexico gave to the world—something both men and women can appreciate.
I know I appreciate those little fresh fruit stands that sell everything from Mexican tamales to little baby Jesus goodies.
Vanilla is yet another Mexican gift to the world.
Frida Kahlo, Carlos Santa, Robert Rodriguez
Churro anyone? In the meantime Happy Cinco De Mayo.

2 comments:

Mary on May 1, 2009 at 9:28 AM said...

Well done man, you realy defended your Mexican girl fiends, if you have any specially your good friend Carlos, we have many Mexican friends too where we where living for eight years in San Jose, Cal. we love San Jose, we had a good life there and it is the birth Country of my Grand daughter Clara, we named her after Santa Clara, her statue is in Al-Camino-Rial in San Jose, you did a good job, we are with you too.

Mary on May 1, 2009 at 4:05 PM said...

I forgot to say HAPPY CINQO DI MAYO to all our friends MEHECANOS in DC and San Jose, I pray to God to send us a quick flue cure to all and VIVA MEHECO, love you all.

 

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