Anti-Defamation League Job Requirements

Anti-Defamation League Job Requirements
By Hanitizer


Things are looking less than optimal for voices defending the policies and strategies of the the current Israeli Prime Minister. It seems that there is a need for a lot more help to make Bibi’s case. Here is a typical job announcement for an organization that has a lot on its plate.

Anti-Defamation League Job Requirements
• Must excel at defaming anyone who criticizes Israel.
• Quick on your feet and creative in coming up with different ways to label Palestinians in a demeaning fashion.
• Can utter the world “anti-Semitic” in a sexy voice.
• Good dental work, as you will need to smile defending Israel adventures in the Middle East.
• On daily basis, tell the pansies at the State Department to beat it and stay the hell out of Israel’s way.
• Troll the internet and defend Israel on popular websites by adding links to obscure sources to back up your outlandish claims.
• Must have sexual stamina to be able to handle frequent blow jobs and endless ass-kissing given to you courtesy of many members of the American Congress.

Qualifications
• Have spent considerable time on another planet or time-space dimension where Abe Foxman is worshipped as a prophet.
• Firmly believe that Avatar is an Anti-Semitic movie.
• Able to urinate on the American public’s shoes, look them in the eye and convince them it’s raining.
• Have worked in the tobacco industry
• Able to throw any voice of reason within the community under a speeding bus.
• Master seeing things that no one else sees. For example speak of “Palestinians violence” when you cannot recall the last time Palestinians have committed an act of violence. Watching Tom Cruise in the Last Samurai doesn’t count.

Preferred skills and experiences:
• Have served in the Israeli army or at least wear an IDF t-shirt 24 hours a day.
• Can fake slick southern accent to appeal to our buddies in the Bible belt, or other American regional accents.
• An All-American name that is close to the hearts and ears of the audience.
• Belief that Abe Foxman is charming.
• A active membership in your local Tea Party group.
• Able to tell jokes about how silly the European Union when they criticize Israel.
• Have seen a “comedy” show by that Chicago based unfunny “Palestinian” man.

[Tarboush Tip: Will]