11 Signs of an IDF Internet Troll

11 Signs of an IDF Internet Troll
By Hanitizer


Immediately after the Israeli assault on Gaza, the Israeli government made a decision to hire Israeli bloggers who speak in tongues. Those bloggers’ job is to log into different news sites and make comments to help improve Israel’s image. I have witness many of their tactic, the often use the same techniques and copy paste the same old crappy talking points memos that have not been updated in ages. Here are few of their lame tactics:

1. Posing as a fake Arab with a very traditional Arab name, then making the most racist and bizarre comments about Israel. A popular technique used is to pose as a self-hating Arab and use that persona to unload your racist and inferiority complex driven insults.

2. Logging in under your real name to reply to the faux Arab comments to make your lousy points and half-baked ideas look normal in light of the faux Arab comments that you doctored, essentially you are having an argument with yourself. Also leave 1,423,524,523,456,234,543 comments under different names so that it seems as if there’s widespread support for your bigoted point of view.

3. Spread pathological lies that only you and a few insane activists hold dear… like how the Arabs need to apologize for the holocaust. Sure, the Palestinians in Gaza can just teleport themselves to the West Bank.

4. Spike up your online comments with links to obscure subjects like how Palestinians do not believe in Santa while keeping Santa locked in your basement.

5. When you run out of lies and bogus arguments, you hijack the comment section by talking about outlandish topics that have no substance or relevance to the topic discussed. Favorite subjects to talk about include your fetish for hijab-wearing Muslim women.

6. Quote your favorite Arab commentators who prostitute themselves to make your point. Endorsing this person by saying this is an Arab I’d like to have for a neighbor. This is the equivalent of “I am not racist, I have a black friend.”

7. Treat the bible like a real estate document, while mocking it in private. Also, you speak of the Koran as if all Muslims have read it and interpret it the way you do.

8. Make up a bad ass virtual ID/name to compensate for your small circumcised dip stick.

9. Pretend that after the UN issued the partition plan of 1947 it went out of business. In other words, cherry pick your arguments.

10. Come up with labels for anyone you do not see things eye to eye with. Favorites: anti-Semite, Nazi, communist, fascist, appeaser, and terrorist.

11. You use fancy English to make up for unsound arguments. You use dirty words in Arabic, referring to contributors’ mothers in derogatory ways, as if the insult you levy against them is somehow harsher in their native tongue.

Bonus

You justify the occupation of Gaza and the West Bank by calling attention to Palestinian “suicide bombings” — despite the fact that the occupation of those territories started in 1967, and the first bombing didn’t occur until 1993. (By the way, when was the last bombing?)

[Tarboush Tip: Programmer Buydatti]